epiphany || bucky barnes

𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑

This was the first day in a long time where I could do nothing at all.

Yet, I still manage to wake up before the sun does.

A soft breeze brushed over my body and through my loose pajamas as I held a file in my hands. Stamped in black ink on the cover was "Lucille Pierce", nothing more, nothing less.

Inside of this file held every core memory I have made, every impression I have settled upon the world. This is who I was. This is past me. I flipped the flimsy cover open to reveal a single black and white photo. It looked like it had been a poorly developed film at one point, now worn and skewed with age.

It seemed like a woman, in an elegant agent uniform, standing beside a taller and much more brawny man. Distorted pins lined his jacket, but he was nevertheless also dressed well and similar to the woman.

Their faces were smudged, most likely the victim of poor handling.

Who are you?

On the bottom, the name "Christina" was written in a faded black marker. Then, followed a streak of black, starting with the distorted letter B. I guess whoever wrote the other name got clumsy and smeared it everywhere. What a waste of a perfectly good photo.

I set the picture down and continued flipping through the file, or "album". The weathered photo flickered quickly to colorized and grainy photos of the ice skater me. The one that landed her triple axel before popping her wrist and knee out of the socket. Not my proudest moment, by a long shot. Not to mention, I rarely have proud moments at all.

Then came the photos of me getting surgery. When I was injected with the serum. Pandora in her cell curled up with her knees to her chest. The emaciated, hollow, and tired shell of the person I used to be.

Flipping through these distraught and horrid images was hard. But it was a part of my own healing. I needed to see the past to show present me how much I've grown. It wasn't until one photo, however, that I paused. I was lying on that freezing cold metal table, but above me, a scientist held up a black, thick briefcase. With tongs, he held a purple stone that let off the energy and light that could power an entire city.

The pictures continued, almost as if taken for a timeline. Slowly, the stone was lowered onto my chest. My face contorted into one of pain. Purple veins popped out across my skin. My eyes even grew a dim lavender color. The last photo depicted what I assumed to be the soldier, standing over my unconscious body and screaming. Scientists were attempting to pull him away, but he wouldn't dare let go of my hand.

Oh, Winter...

That's where the photos ended. The file was empty, though it had more holding space for several more pictures. I shut the file, setting it down on the table beside me as I sat up on the couch. I sighed, bending my head forward and resting my elbows on my knees.

"Why, Alexander... Why..." I whispered, closing my eyes.

Footsteps approached behind me, arms wrapping around my waist and pulling me up. My back was pressed against a warm, muscular chest. I closed my eyes and let my head fall back against Bucky's shoulder, letting out a long drawn-out breath.

Bucky glanced at the file I left on the table, frowning slightly. "You've been looking back again..." He whispered.

I held my breath and nodded, "Mhm... I... I needed to. Gave me closure to see all those photos..."

He picked the file up and stared at it, before setting it on the desk inside the spacious apartment. His metal hand rubbed circular motion against my back, allowing me to relax into his warm embrace. We stayed there for a moment. Just enjoying each other's company with the background noise of rush hour.