My Teacher

part 65

Y: if she wants to be with him then that's her choice
Kobe: no anyone can see he already hurt her mentally and physically she doesn't need to be with him he's not good for her mental health and we all know it
Y: i had this same shit said to me about you kobe but i didn't care because i wanted you and that wasn't going to change all because someone else cared so what makes you think it'll happen with kiya

kobe looked up at y/n while she was looking down at him then he got out the car and looked at her making eye contact

Kobe: then why
Y: then why what
Kobe: then why did you come back
Y: this isn't about me kobe
Kobe: now it is so why'd you come back if people were telling you not to
Y: kobe
Kobe: just answer the question
Y: because i didn't care what people said and i damn sure didn't care what they thought i loved you well i still do and a few people telling me you weren't good enough for me or treating me like a damn child sure wasn't going to make me stay away from you because at the end of the day i couldn't imagine my life without you and i didn't want to so i realized in order for you to always be there i couldn't listen to everything someone said about you
Kobe: you couldn't imagine your life without me
Y: i still can't
Kobe: i miss you
Y: kobe not now
Kobe: no now is a perfect time i can't go to sleep without thinking about you and i see you every time i wake up it's like your soul follows me everywhere i go i can't get your fat head ass off my mind and all the times i distanced myself and ignored your calls was because i realized i was losing myself and i wasn't who i was anymore but that's because i wanted this dumb fantasy that regular isn't perfect when really anything with you is perfect to me it just took slowly losing you to realize that and once i finally did it was too late
Y: i noticed you were changing but i didn't want to see it i wanted to pretend that you were the same kobe that you were at first because at first coming home was like walking into heaven and seeing your face was like seeing an angel but as time went by coming home was a hell and seeing you just made me want to cry because when i looked at you i could see that you didn't feel the same about me
Kobe: i always felt the same about you
Y: no you didn't because at first you would've never even thought about cheating on me even if it was just making out with someone it was as if you were ready to leave me but you didn't want to be the one to end it but what you didn't know was me ending it hurt me more than you just doing it yourself i felt like i was breaking the best thing that ever happened to me
Kobe: i never wanted you to feel like that i made a mistake a huge mistake and it kept me awake at night knowing i fucked up and wishing i could get you back but i'm trying now y/n
Y: yea now you're trying but i needed you to fight and try for me seven months ago before we broke up that's when i needed you to be there for me and the same support and love i needed wasn't there and i never thought i'd even be able to stand in front of you and talk about how hurt you made me without completely breaking down even know i'm fighting back tears back because even now remembering it hurts but i can't blame you for everything because i saw you changing and i still tried to hang on to something that was destined to fall apart
Kobe: it wasn't though and i never wanted it to be i love you so much and i always did i was fighting but i was losing myself while i was in LA our manager never let us be who we were and it was like i had to hide myself from the world and the feeling of like who i was wasn't good enough for public view started bringing me into a dark place and most days i didn't even want to wake up because i knew everything i did would be judged i needed you there but i couldn't have you there and it fucked me up
Y: you could've told me you should've told me that's what i'm here for i'm here so you can have not only a best friend but someone to listen to you when you feel like the rest of the world is shutting you out if you don't trust me enough to have me around when it really counts then what's the point
Kobe: it wasn't that i didn't trust you it was just that i knew i was changing i could see it shit i could feel it and i didn't want to see the look in your eyes when i told you how much i felt dead inside because i didn't want you to think it was your fault because it wasn't so i let it eat me up inside until i was a totally new person and i didn't snap out of it until i watched you get in that car with all your things crying and i realized i fucked up and it felt like some of my soul left that night i was listening to songs and somehow i was listening to old school r&b and if this isn't love came on and i cried like a child the kind i've never done before and that's when i realized that i did love you and only you and i was so dumb to ever hurt the only person who was there for me through every up and down

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