The Death Cure Trials (TMR Love Triangle)

Sixteen - The Death Cure

I stick my tongue out at him, but still use his hand to get up. After that, Aris gives me a small, encouraging nod, and I find myself glad to have a brotherly figure in a place like this. Family.

For as long as I can remember, Gally has been the role of an older brother for me, but it feels nice to have a blood relative, knowing that some people didn't have any, nor could they recall having any. 

It took a few seconds, if that, for me to collect my thoughts together and compose myself before I was standing face-to-face with Newt, who scowled as he heard my footsteps. "Look, I've already said I don't wanna talk abou-"

When Newt gazed up at me, his words trailed off and his eyes softened slightly. "Sorry, love..I thought you were-..nevermind." He simply shook his head, and I stared at him silently for a few seconds.

Newt studied my expression for a few seconds, and he looked as though he had cracked a code before he ran a hand over his face and through his hair, muttering a curse word that I couldn't quite catch. "You want to talk, don't you?"

My nod was meek, and when my lips parted to speak, nothing seemed to come out, so I silently linked my hand with Newt's, and began leading him up to the rooftop of the building, where the early morning sun was shining out.

When I sat, Newt sat right next to me, his legs dangling off the side of the building, as though he didn't have a fear in the world. "Don't do that," I tug on the side of his trousers, "You might slip."

Newt stared at the ground below for a few moments before he eventually cracked into a small smile. "Sorry, you're right." He retracted his legs from the side of the building and faced me as I stared out at the skyline, not meeting his eyes.

Before he had a chance to speak, I took us being alone as a sign to confess my feelings. "I miss you, Newt."

I didn't look at him once, I didn't want to see the look in his eyes as the wheels turned in his head. "How can you miss me, Pen? I'm right here." I felt his hand rub up and down my arm gently, a touch which should've been comforting but simply felt cold. Unfamiliar.

"I know you're here, but you're not you." I look back over at Newt now, and I noticed him trembling slightly, his eyes wide with an emotion I couldn't place.

"I don't understand." He finally breathed out.

"You're angry, you're arguing with Thomas, you barely even talk to me, I don't understand, I..-" Newt opened his mouth to interrupt me, yet I kept speaking. "I was so relieved.." My voice wobbles and I have to stop to inhale, not letting myself be vulnerable in front of him as I once was.

"I was so relieved when I knew you were alive, but now it just..feels like you aren't."

"Like I'm not?"

"Like you're not alive." I conclude, and Newt just nods, his eyes flooded with water as he stared at me, and I find myself averting my gaze to the floor.

"Don't do that." Newt spoke, and I soon felt two of his cold fingers on the edge of my chin, tilting my head so that I was only mere inches away from his face, staring right back at his chestnut eyes.

"Do what?" My voice was quiet now, just a whisper as I was at a loss for words, being so close to Newt.

"Don't tell me something like that and then..shut me out and not even look at me. You can't do that." Newt's voice broke a few times, wobbling with sensitivity and hurt clouding his speech.

"I'm sorry." 

"I should be the one that's sorry, I.." Newt stared down at the floor for a few seconds, before holding his arm out to me. "I know I'm not myself right now, but I-..I." Newt trailed off his sentence, and I stared at his rolled down sleeve with curiosity.