The Death Cure Trials (TMR Love Triangle)

Ten - The Death Cure

https://forms.gle/cPoYqcBc6LGCWtC5A i'd really appreciate it if you guys could fill this in!! it's a maze runner opinions form, i can post ur results if u consent to it <3

a/n: if you didn't know, april 2nd was autism awareness month, and while i feel as though it has been obvious from the first book, I guess i wanted to make it official! remember you're loved and a slip of paper doesn't define you as a person.

"It wasn't real, I know, but we were happy. I guess I couldn't let that go...cause I've learned to slam on the break before I even turn the key."

Penelope

Everything in life has a cause, and an effect, every single meaningful influence that has entered our lives has been for a reason, or because of a choice we've made. I like to think that we were put on earth with free-will, the ability to choose what we want to do with our lives, yet I find myself questioning it from time to time.

It's not that we don't have the ability to make good choices, but we are a selfish shell of a community who care for themselves before others, and I often think I've fallen victim to this complex when I think about the choices I've made in my life. For example, should I have stayed in the glade out of fear, or for someone else, or should I have left for my own reasoning? 

Maybe it's useless to ponder, like water under the bridge, but if I had gone with Gally to the Last City, or stayed by Newt's side when Mary died, I may not be chained to a train seat in between Aris and Sonya, who hadn't spoken a word to me the entire ride. With every aching second, the pain in my eye grows further, and I can feel that it's at least slightly swollen, yet I'm not given access to my own hands to help fix myself up. My axe is gone along with my dignity, W.I.C.K.E.D. made sure of that when they referred to me as a letter and a number, like a code, and chained me like a dog to a chair.

Anyone who says W.I.C.K.E.D. is good deserves to think of Janson's face every time they're engaging in sexual contact, and I hope they see that as a punishment, because I swear that man is satan incarnate. 

Thomas has tried to communicate with me several times, but I find myself unable to understand what he's saying, or find the strength in me to reply to him. I wish I could, don't get me wrong, it'd be amazing to have contact with the guys again, but I'm simply too weak in my vulnerable state, both mentally and physically.

I miss them, and it probably hasn't been longer than a day, but I hope the boys are wise enough to stay in the camp and find their way to a safe haven, and live the life that we won't be able to live because of W.I.C.K.E.D. It hurts a lot, if I'm honest with myself, and I find it harder to block out the deaths of every single person I've ever loved, as the days go by.

W.I.C.K.E.D. have taken everything from me. Every person I've loved, every memory I've formed, every place I've remembered. It's not fair, it's not fair that they're sending me straight back there for more torture. I felt Aris' head drop onto my shoulder, and I knew he must be exhausted as he looked just as bad, if not worse, than me. It was clear we clashed with the guards from WCKD, but I couldn't blame him after the way they treated us like scum, like they were so much better than us.