Never Let Me Go ✔️

34 | loved

C H A P T E R
T H I R T Y
F O U R

It's a weird feeling.

Days like today, sunny, same breeze, same humidity that destroys your hair, that takes your breath away.. it should feel like any other day. Instead, it feels awfully different.

But, in a good way.

It's not the same-normal Déjà vu.

It's almost like an understanding. That this is what I should have done a long ass time ago.

Ashley helps me pack up my office. Her sniffles and snotty tears are hard for anyone to miss. If she wipes her nose with the back of her hand one more time...

"Pull yourself together," I say, smiling. She nudges me with her elbow. "I'll visit you, I promise."

She rolls her eyes. "If anyone is getting away from this place it's going to be me. So, I'll be the one coming to visit."

A smile tugs at my lips while I finish putting a few more things in boxes that are scattered on the ground. Mindy walks up to hand me my portfolio. "It was a pleasure working with you, Valerie."

When she walks away, I quickly look back at Ash. "What the fuck was that?"

She shrugs. "Who knows with that bitch. Can I come with you?"

I laugh, shaking my head when I see Elijah in the corner of my eye. Ashley nods for me to go see him without even asking.

He is standing by the window, both hands in his pockets, while I lightly knock on the door. He motions for me to come in, so I quickly shut the door and step inside.

"Pretty day."

Sunny days are my favorite in California. That and Disney World. Yep, I'm going to miss that the most.

"Yes, it is." I breathe, resting both arms across my chest.

"Are you leaving because of me?" He chokes out, still staring out the window.

"What?"

His feet step away, walking towards his desk to take a seat. I follow his gaze and take a seat at the sofa. "I never heard you say you wanted to leave St. Helena. Now that I'm here," he rubs his chin. "I'm thinking it's because of me."

"Don't flatter yourself."

"Touché." He laughs.

"I'm leaving, because it's what I need right now."

His desk phone vibrates against his keyboard making the room go quiet. He ignores it completely, taking his cord out the wall.

"Is that really necessary?"

"It's been ringing all damn day," He sighs, leaning back in his leather chair. "A few more minutes won't hurt."

I laugh, shaking my head. "Typical."

He drums his fingers against the cold hardwood, making a pattern of comfort. You can tell he doesn't know what to talk about or how to keep me from leaving.

Just as I'm about to stand and continue packing his voice chimes in. "Have you talked to Grant?"

I still get butterflies when I hear his name. My stomach forms into tight knots, a knot of overwhelming pain.

"Not since the other day." He knows what I mean by other day because it was the night he caught us together and they got into a huge fight.

Elijah's lip is still swollen, but faded into a light yellow color instead of purple.

"Grant doesn't care about a lot of people, but you," he pauses, still drumming his fingers. "He thinks so fondly of you. I've never seen him in love."

I lift my head from staring at my fingers. "In love?"

He gives me a half smile. "Our grandmother would always tell him that he's going to meet the love of his life one day, and he's going to mess up from time to time,"

"But, when he finally finds her- she's going to be the reason for everything. The reason it didn't work out with anyone else."

"Your grandma Cynthia?"

"Yes." He breathes.

My thumbs fiddle in my hands while I keep them in my lap. "As much as you hate him, why are you saying these things?"

He cocks his head to the side, almost thinking real hard before he answers. "I've moved on."

"Seriously?"

"Life is too short to hold a grudge."

I lean back in the couch, crossing my arms. I'm sure my face was stuck in awe. "I'm truly amazed."

He rolls his eyes, smiling. "You know... it used to hurt."

"What did?"

"Watching someone you love... love someone else."

I swallow hard, still fiddling with my hands. "It hurts me to even feel this way about both of you."

"Val," he starts, sitting up from his chair. "You've never loved me the way you love my brother, and it's okay. He deserves to be loved by someone like you."

A tear falls onto my face, rolling down my cheek. I meet his eyes for a second before wiping it away with my finger. "I feel like someone is going to get hurt. It doesn't matter who I choose. I have to let both of you go."

My feet quickly find the tile floor, moving closer towards the door before Elijah stops me. "You really going to leave me like this?"

"It hurts too much, Elijah." I whisper. My back presses up against the door, staring down at the ground before I decide on what to do.

He smiles once I press my body in his embrace, wrapping my arms across his back. The cologne consumes me, making me smile in return. I'm going to miss this. I'm going to miss him.

I can feel him smile in my hair while he squeezes me closer to him. "Take good care of our daughter," he says momentarily, trying not to choke on his words. "If you need anything you better call me."

"I will."

He calls my name once I step into the hallway, when I turn around confused, I see him reaching into his pocket. "Here,"

I hold my hand out for him to hand me something in return.

Another tear runs down my face as I stare at the bag of m&m's.

"It's for the drive."

• • •

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