A Court of Moonlight Shadow

Cacoon

Thoughts kept weaving in and out of his head as he flew.  Az never felt like he was good enough for anyone. He had yearned for Mor for centuries because...he would never get her. Sure, he had lovers but none were enough to stay for. 

With Elain, he knew that she was mated. He only let himself feel for females he would never get. 

But Luna was different. She was addictive. But she needed to heal on her own and she was Rhys' sister. Az didn't want to think how that conversation would go. He didn't need to, because it was never going to happen. All of this was too much, too soon. If he let himself feel what he thought was happening, he couldn't go back. So the more he flew, the more he pushed everything deeper down into a place he couldn't reach ever again. 

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Luna hadn't seen him in two days. The more she missed him, the more she hated herself. She just wanted Adustia. If she could see her right now, she'd probably tell her to follow her heart. Maybe she didn't want to see her after all. 

This was her family though. Right? Everyone keeps telling her this is her home and she should be here. But a part of her misses Hybern. Even if it was wretched.

They were all having dinner when he came in. Mor wasn't here though. She decided to eat dinner with Xia in the cabin. They had been spending a lot of time together.

 Luna had been listening mostly instead of talking. Rhys had asked what was wrong, mind to mind. But she blocked him out. He kept trying to speak to her or shared quick glances with Feyre every time she didn't speak. It was absolutely infuriating. 

Az walked in with his stoic quietness and nodded at everyone. 

"Where the hell have you been?" Cassian asked while eating lamb.

"Out." He replied and sat down. 

Luna kept looking at him. She wanted him to feel her stare. 

Rhys started saying something that made Amren darkly chuckle and conversation bloomed.

Az only moved his eyes once everyone was lost in lively chatter and pinned down Luna.

She was hoping to feel powerful when he looked at her. Luna took every chance at being a coward. If she was going to leave, she might as well go out being brave.

So she scrunched her eyebrows down and pierced his soul. A look that usually made any male shrink. 

But he didn't back down. Her heart sped and she was getting hotter. The rest of the dinner was spent trying to ignore the heat in between her legs every time he ate something and looked at her. 

When everyone was done, she got up first. 

"I'm going to see a friend in the mountains." She began to turn away when Rhys began to say something. But she cut him off.

"Unless I'm still your captive?" She held his glare. 

"Fine." He said through his teeth.  She began to walk out of the room and didn't turn to look back at him. Or anyone else.

When she felt she was alone and no one saw her, she unglamoured her wings and flew.  It felt euphoric. The wind was streaming through her thick hair, it caressed her wings and freed her heart. Flying reminded her of her mother. Her father hated it when she flew. But her mother would sneak her out and guide her through the clouds. 

But she wasn't here. There was no sun hitting her face. Just darkness and the stars shining brightly. Maybe flying wouldn't be a beautiful as it was before. But, no matter how hard she tried to ignore it, there was still hope. Because it still felt pretty. Flying among the stars alone still felt good.