CONFUNDUS; harry potter [UNDER EDITION]

CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR

HARRY

The problem began when Harry didn't insist more. He knew Lucca was hiding something long ago. Maybe it was before they had to take their O.W.Ls or maybe since he met him. The secrets behind those sad eyes, the promises which were meant to be broken and the reassurance of eternal love were always there. Harry isn't a fool. Lucca knows Harry sees him, he really sees him, so he doesn't bother to hide something is wrong. And Harry is circling around him, expectant to see a hint of truth or revelation or a scream of help. He doesn't step in because Lucca may close himself and the opportunity would be missed.

Lucca Sallow is complicated.

More complicated than a riddle to solve. Lucca Sallow is messed up, fucked up in the head, and Harry loves him that way because maybe, just maybe, none else is unhinged and damaged as they both are.

"I don't really want to leave," Lucca mumbles against his shoulder. "But I have to. I'm sorry, Harry."

Lucca isn't apologising because he has to leave. Harry presses him harder against his chest, inhaling the sweetness in Lucca's hair. Almonds and chocolate and honey. Harry can't get tired of that combination because it suits Lucca so well, it's insane.

"Write me," Harry whispers. "I don't care if you don't have anything to say. Just... let me know if you are fine."

Lucca shifts in his arms and steps back, glancing over his shoulder, he stares at his father for a moment. William and Venice turn their backs to them, hesitant, but it is more than enough. They are being too nice to let them bid goodbye.

"The badge," Lucca says as Harry returns his attention to him, his eyes are wide and glassy and beautiful. He gulps, nodding. "It's charmed. Both are connected. So you know I'm fine."

"It's not enough. Lucca, you are writing to me and telling me —"

Lucca steps back but his hand still holds Harry's firmly. "I should go."

"It's ridiculous they are forcing you to leave," Harry insists one more time, desperate to have Lucca a little longer in his arms. "You're fine. And everyone knows it wasn't me — I can talk to Dumbledore. He would do something to protect you."

"It's just for the break," Lucca reminds him. "And when I'm back...."

"We're going to talk. We need to — you owe me an explanation of this."

Lucca doesn't look surprised or asks what this means. Harry is furious he doesn't show reaction. He just nods, absently. His mind is somewhere else and Harry has never wanted to learn legilimency to see what is he thinking. Harry isn't sure when it became impossible to read Lucca.

"I owe you a lot of things," Lucca finally withdraws and hides his hand in his coat pockets. "I haven't been good with you. But I can't tell you what I know."

"Why?"

"Because the consequences might be bigger than we can handle."

Harry wonders if he shakes the truth out of Lucca would be appropriate after someone attacked him. The urge to punch him is there, too. But in a fight, he is losing. William and Venice are impatiently watching and Lucca is oddly strong and good at wrestling, it's scary and hot and Harry shouldn't be thinking about Lucca putting him in a headlock.

It's hard to be coherent when Lucca is there, tailored clothes, combed hair and breath-taking beauty. Harry wants to kiss him so bad and then kick him in the balls and call him names he never thought calling him.

"I fucking hate you."

Lucca smiles, "I love you, too, Pretty Boy."

The words set a fire of confusion and anger and softness inside him. Harry bites his tongue, looking away, and Lucca takes his opportunity to kiss his cheek.