Spin the Bottle (To Be Deleted)

*13 ~ She Awakens*

|JAMIE|

    Don't look at them. Keep my head down. Eat dinner.

    Don't look at them. Keep my head down.

    Don't look at them.

    I woke up on the living room couch about twenty minutes ago. The lights were on, so I assumed it was getting dark. Looking out the window, my thoughts were confirmed. The sun was setting. Almost fully down. I had been asleep for a few hours.

    Didn't realize I was that tired, but whatever. It was a good nap.

    It's just frustrating... to have to sit at the table and watch them being all lovey-dovey behind Double A and the younger ones' back. Husan said he didn't want to leave me alone after being in shock like that, so I asked if he could stay for dinner. Double A was happy to meet my new friend that she kept hearing about.

    As always, Husan charmed his way into her good graces and she made sure his plate was full — much to his delight.

    Now I feel out of the loop. Everyone is talking and laughing. Dinner like it always is — well, it would be if Mickey and Chris would go back to bickering. I never thought I'd miss the insults and the shouting. I want to go back to that.

    So what now? How long do they plan to do this for? It's not gonna work. We're family. Even if not by blood, they are brother and sister as far as everybody here is concerned. They know that, too. That's why they are trying to hide it. And when it comes to their feelings for each other, I just wanna know when, how, and why?

    Just thinking about it is making me sick. I don't think I'll be able to finish my dinner. I've almost gagged multiple times tonight and not in the mocking way. I'm literally having to swallow back the bile that keeps threatening to spill out. Ever since I woke up, I've felt light headed.

    I haven't looked directly at either of them all night and I will happily continue to do that. It's the only way to bite my tongue and not go off on them. My body is heated up. My muscles are tense. I'm hyper-aware of their presence and it's honestly aggravating.

    I plan to have a nice, long talk about this with them once I'm calm. Who knows when I'll be calm, though? This mood might last a few hours or maybe even days.

    Maybe I need some catharsis?

    Air. I need air. They're suffocating me.

    "Excuse me. I'll be right back." I swiftly stand up and walk out of the kitchen without looking at anybody.

    "Where are you going? You better not waste my food!"

    "I won't!" I reply before reaching for the front door.

    I hear footsteps rushing after me. It only makes me walk faster as I'm greeted with the warmth of a summer night.

    "Jamie! Wait!"

    Husan's voice stops me in my tracks. I turn around and face him. The streets aren't as hectic as they are during the day, but I catch a few figures walking around and minding their own business.

    "I've only been to New York a few times before, but even I know that the streets are dangerous at night. Way too dangerous for a teenage girl to be wandering around. At least alone."

    I sigh. "You're right. Care to join me?"

    "I already invited myself, but thanks."

    That actually gets a laugh out of me. "I'm going to the park."