i love you [Part 1]

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i would like to point out ive read like 20+ billie eilish fanfic and she almost always calls bae "mamas". at first i didnt like it like that, and now im using it. it fits billie.

Billie's POV

"AW FUCK EVERYTHING!" I cried, sinking my head into my hands.

"Woah!" Finneas, my brother and best friend, exclaimed.

Ever since Y/N and I broke up, I haven't been able to come up with any songs and the deadline for this single was in two months and we didn't have anything. No music, lyrics, or even a title. 

I was in a slump I wasn't sure I could get out of.

I felt Finneas' arms wrap around me in a tight hug.

"Bils, you okay?" He asked me.

"No." I reply.

"Look, this is probably gonna sound selfish, but you have to get over Y/N." He said to me.

"I can't." I whispered.

Finneas sifted his hand through my blonde hair and another tear fell on my hands.

~ 2 months ago ~

3rd Person POV

"Billie..." Y/N called.

Her girlfriend the famous Billie Eilish was sitting in her bedroom working humming out a song. Every once in a while, Eilish would scribble something in her notebook.

Quietly, Y/N wrapped her arms around Billie who then laughed.

"Hey, mamas." She smiled, holding onto Y/N's hands.

"How's work going?" Y/N moved around the couch and opened her girlfriend's book.

"It's okay." Billie replied as she took the book away from Y/N. "No peeking."

Y/N rolled her eyes and laid her head on Billie's shoulder. 

"I love you, Billie."  Y/N said softly, surprising Billie.

"Oh..." She gasped.

Y/N sat up and frowned.

"What?" 

"Is that all you have to say?" She asks, still frowning.

"What do you mean?" Billie asked.

"I mean, I just told you that I loved you and all you said was 'oh'." Y/N explained.

"Right..." Billie fidgeted. 

"Babe, you do love me, right?" Y/N asked.

Y/N had always been insecure of herself, being the girlfriend of a celebrity and having to be perfect made it very stressful for her and suffocating.

"I do... like you, Y/N!" She said hesitantly.

"You did it again." Y/N said quietly.

"I-" Billie started before her girlfriend got off the couch.

Y/N walked down the hall and got her jacket, phone, and car keys. Billie struggled with getting her blanket off of her and suddenly started  to tic like crazy. 

"Y/N, come back, please!" Billie pleaded, trying to get her after her tics went away.

She didn't make it in time and by the time Billie got to the door, Y/N was strapping her seatbelt in and turning the car keys into the ignition.

"Please." Billie whimpered.

With tears in her eyes, Y/N drove out the driveway of Billie's house, therefore breaking up with Billie in an unspoken understanding.

"I love you." Billie slid down the side of the door and folded her knees close to her chest and hung her head down. 

"I love you."

~ Present Time ~

The O'Connell family was sitting at the cedar table eating dinner.

"How was today?" Billie's mom, Maggie, asked everyone, but Billie in particular.

The blonde was frowning, using her fork to push the corn around her plate, lost in her own memory reminiscing about the times she had with Y/N.

"Billie?" Finneas called, pulling Billie out from her silence.

"What?"

"I asked how was today." Maggie replied.

"Oh, it was okay. We still didn't get anything done today." Billie answered.

"You know, you should say something to Y/N, it's pretty obvious you miss her." Billie's dad chimed in.

Billie sighed and tears started to well up in her eyes.

"M-may I be excused?" She asked, her voice cracking.

Billie's mother nodded and the 19-year-old left the dining room and hid underneath the covers of her bed.

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ill try to make billie happy in pt 2 ;)





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