Desolate ▿ Teen Wolf

Trying to Breathe

My heart longs for what Scott has. What Stiles has. Even what Malia has. They have a family, and even though it isn't a full family what they lack they make up for with friends. They have all their lives dedicated to one place. Whereas my story travels around the country. Only gracing one home for weeks at a time.

I don't know why they did this to me. Why they changed me. It suddenly angers me, my eyes stinging as my emotions rage. Did they want me to become attached only so they could kick me out? Just like everyone else? Were they just bored, and decided that I would be fun to play with?

It wouldn't be the first time. Orphans are easy targets.

We have no one to care if we get hurt. If our souls are scared from mental and physical abuse. No one cares. Not even the social workers who are assigned to us. All we are is another case. And the foster families- they don't care. All we are is food tokens. Merely objects to the state. A blemish of an unwilling family or a deceased one.

My conscious returns to the present as a figure shakes my arm gently. I slowly focus in on the face again. Stiles.

"Hey, we're all leaving now. It's time to go home."

Home. My mind lingers on that one word. It seems to echo in my head, the single word reverberating through it. I nod soundlessly as I follow the brunette to his trusty jeep.

Stiles' fingers nervously tap on the steering wheel as we drive through the wooded area of town. His constant glances over at me go unacknowledged as we travel further from Scott's house and closer to his. I can tell a question is hanging onto the tip of his tongue, awaiting its chance to escape the confinements that is his mouth.   

As expected Stiles breaks the silence, "Are you ok? You didn't say anything that whole time."

I nod, not knowing how to explain the suffocating feeling to someone who has never experienced it before. Suddenly the car comes to a stop, the wheels resting on the rocky soil on the shoulder of the road.

Stiles slams his hands on the steering wheel abruptly, causing me to jump a little in my seat and turn to face him.

"Terra, I'm trying to understand you, what's going on, but you have to help me." He takes a deep breath before continuing, a calmer tone taking over his voice, "I want to help you Terra, please."

I shake in my seat, my walls crumbing with each word. And in the first time in what feels like ages, I initiate the action. I reach across the console and hold onto Stiles. Digging my face into his chest I stifle the sobs that are threatening to escape me. The uncomfortable grip around my throat tightens as Stiles holds me closer to him. His arms wrapping around me, as his fingers tangle in my hair. He slowly rubs circles on my back as I shake in sadness and despair.

I try to ignore the feeling. At least for now.

❂

I adjust my position for what feels like the thousandth time. My legs stick to the sheets, a cold sweat lingering on my limbs. The thin wall that divides my room from Stiles does nothing to block out the sound of his fingers hammering on his keyboard. I glance at the clock the flashing numbers showing that it is past midnight.

Soft curses come from Stiles' room accompanied by the sound of a laptop being slammed shut.

I argue with myself mentally before kicking off the sheets and clambering across the room to my door. I hesitate slightly at Stiles' door, still debating the idea.

I push Stiles' door open softly, knocking on the door frame to get Stiles' attention.

"Hey," He grunts, shuffling through papers that are strewn around the room. "Couldn't sleep?" He pauses looking up from his papers to observe me.