Hard Brake (Wilkins Brothers Book 2)

Chapter 8

CAMILA

“Where do you keep the broom and dustpan?”

“I’ve got it, you just go back to bed.”

“My son was the one that caused the mess, the least I can do is help clean up the mess. It isn’t that big of a deal, I clean up stuff all the time.”

“Jesus, Camila, just go back to bed, I’ll take care of it. It was an accident, nobody’s fault. I’m the only one standing here with shoes on and the last thing I need is for you to cut your foot on glass or something.”

I desperately wish I knew how to deal with this man standing in front of me. I’ve spent over twenty years being conditioned to act in a certain way and being surrounded by people who expected something out of me and now I’m feeling kind of lost and confused. I woke up when I heard the crash, but I thought that it was maybe from a dream because I didn’t hear anything else. Once I heard Gruff’s deep voice, I was worried something was happening.

Come to find out, Gruff was talking to Nico, who of course, was freaking out over the situation. I hated that my son’s first response to everything was fear, but just as I had been conditioned since I was sixteen, Nico was born into this life. The physical abuse was new, but I’m sure it is going to take years to overcome to psychological trauma that he’s experienced. The guilt seeps in again and I find myself crying in the middle of Gruff’s kitchen.

“Camila?” He looks up from his sweeping with concern in his eyes. “Don’t cry over this. I swear it isn’t a big deal. I bought those glasses from Goodwill, they don’t mean shit to me.”

“I’m not, that’s not why I’m crying. I just can’t get over that my son’s first reaction to an accident is fear. That’s my fault,” I pound my fist against my chest. “I did that to him!”

“Fuck,” he grumbles under his breath. The sobbing increases and I feel like I cannot catch my breath. I try to suck in a breath, but it isn’t enough. Suddenly, a pair of big strong arms were around my body, pinning my arms tight against my body. “Breathe, Camila. You’re having a panic attack.”

His large hand begins to rub circles across my back as he takes nice deep breaths. I can feel his chest expand and contract and I try to match his breathing pattern. Finally, I feel like I can breathe again. Gruff must be able to feel the change in my body because he releases his grasp and takes a step back to put some space between us. 

“I’m sorry, I just...I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize for everything, Camila. You had a perfectly reasonable emotional response, you don’t need to say sorry.”

“That’s easy for you to say. I’ve spent my entire life saying sorry for things that weren’t my fault.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry.”

I giggle and run my hand through my hair, “Look who is apologizing now.”

“Yeah, yeah, you caught me. Come on, Camila, why don’t we get you back to sleep, it’s too fucking early to be dealing with all this shit.”

Gruff walks down the short hallway to the room that is technically his. I stop short and turn around, planning on saying something to him, but then I catch a glimpse of him with the moonlight shining in front behind and I lose my thoughts. I’ve spent the entire day studying him. His face says more than his words ever have and I’m completely intrigued. 

“Thank you for everything, Gruff,” I say in barely a whisper.

He runs his hands through his hair and shrugs his bare shoulders, “I’m just being me.”