To Be A Family: A Holby City Fan Fiction (Complete) (Kian & OC #2)

Chapter 17

Haley went into searching for super safe car seats, buying clothes, and taking natal vitamins. Both her and Kian decided to wait until the baby was born to find out if it was a boy or girl, so they were picking out all kinds of names. She wasn't as sick of late, but she just had to be careful with what she drank. Kian kept her company, making sure she was taking care of herself.
Kian was completely in his element being a daddy. He did everything that he could to make sure Haley was comfortable and happy, cooking her meals and making sure she was getting enough rest.
"How's Daddy's little mama?" Kian would ask when he got home at night during his late shifts.
"I'm not that little anymore." Haley would say. She was confident about her pregnancy.
One evening, about a month and a half after finding out, Kian came home from the hospital. He looked tired, weathered, but Haley just thought it was because he had a long day.  He seemed short, irritable. Haley went to hug him, and he jerked away. Haley stood back, hurt. Kian saw the look on her face. He took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair. Turning away, he walked into the living room and sank down on the couch.
"Kian, what's wrong?" Haley asked. She had never seen him like this before. Kian closed his eyes and took a breath.
"I lost a patient today." He said. When he and Haley started living together, Kian had been careful not to bring his work home with him. She knew what he had to go through as a surgeon. But this time it felt different.
"Oh, Kian! I'm so sorry...." Haley started to say, putting her hands on his shoulders.
"No...no...it was different....it was a kid....a little boy....he was only six or seven. He came in to get his congenital heart defect corrected. His heart stopped on the operating table. We couldn't save him. " He choked out, trying not to cry. "I wish I could have..."
Haley kneeled down next to him, putting her forehead against his.
"It's not your fault, Kian. There were a lot of factors involved. I know you did everything you could...." Haley tried to console him.
"I'm never going to be able to get over that. All I could think about was our baby." Kian turned towards her, and held her close. He buried his face in her hair and started to cry.
Haley held him tightly, her hand on his back.
"I'm just so scared about losing our baby." He said, sounding like he might cry.
"Losing as in 'miscarriage'?" Haley asked, "We're doing everything we can to prevent that and this stage..."
"No....I.....I mean everything. Getting sick, getting hurt...everything."
"It's called being a parent." Haley said. She laid his hand on her bump. "You're going to be an amazing dad." Kian dried his eyes, and kissed Haley on the top of her head, smiling.
"And you're going to be a great mum." He replied.

Haley and Kian got into bed that night, laying in the darkness. Kian rolled over and smiled down at Haley.
"You know I love you, right?" He said.
She wasn't sure if he'd gotten forgetful from getting older, but the words brought tears to her eyes.