City of the Fallen - unedited

Chapter Ten

"Hot." I answer, hoping the slight pause doesn't make her question my lie. Her expression darkens. I wish I didn't feel like this but it's like a chemical reaction, I can't control it.

"We'll get there, Julia. It's normal to have a hard time recovering from a death so tragic. Stage two will be good for you." Stacy smiles and runs her hand through her ponytail. How did she know I was lying?

"I'm fine most of the time, but when I think about it, it gets bad." I explain. I hate looking vulnerable in front of people.

It's like when something super embarrassing happens to you and you think about it for the rest of the day. That's what dying is like. One moment you're in training listening to Mr. Conner and then the next moment you're remembering that you're no longer alive and that everybody is moving on with their lives and have no idea that you're fine.

I really would say that if I thought that Stacy cared, but she doesn't. I don't blame her because she's just trying to do her job and move on to stage three.

"There will be some counseling options in stage two and I highly suggest that you see a counselor, Juliet. See you tomorrow morning, bright and early." She closes my door and walks with the dozen other mentors.

A counselor wouldn't help me forget my death, nothing would ever help me escape the horrible feeling. I would just have to live with it forever. I've already accepted it and made my peace with it.

***

Training was the longest few hours of my life. It was like the last day of school, waiting for class to be over but being too excited for time to go by at a normal rate.

I sit impatiently in my chair, aware of how Tanner would look over every now and then at my foot tapping the floor rapidly. I'm probably annoying him.

How can I not be excited? I want to see what everyone is talking about and I want to see everyone's eyes.

Brooke adapts very quickly to her environments, so she probably knows everything about stage two already. I wish I was like her, I don't think I'll ever get used to the Afterworld.

"You must choose wisely which path to take at the end of stage two, which is the most vital stage of them all because it shall predict your future at the Afterworld." Mr. Connor explains, "each person is different and each role equally as important. It is completely up to you which one you choose, but it is necessary to ensure that everybody knows as much as possible about each path so that they make the right decision for them."

The entire room doesn't exactly know what he was talking about, probably because it is "forbidden" to talk about the next stage, according to Tanner. I assume this had something to do with being a guardian angel, which is the "path" that everybody knows about, probably because it is the most popular. It makes sense, I can't imagine there being a better one.

"Which one do you want?" I hear Jack whisper into Tanner's ear. I don't listen to what Tanner's answer is, but it had to be a weird one because of the way Jack's expression changes. His thick eyebrows narrowed to a slant and his full lips curved downwards in confusion.

"For real?" He questions, pushing his curly hair back. Tanner nods.

Jack sighs. "I have absolutely no clue."

"You'll figure it out, that's what stage two is for." Tanner reassures him.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Jack lean forward in his chair. "What about you, Julia? Which one do you want?"

Tanner smacks him on the head. "She doesn't know, Jack. Shut up." Jack abides and looks forward.

"Ignore him." Tanner tells me, then continues talking to Jack. I laugh to myself at how careless Jack is and how Tanner constantly has to stop him from spoiling things. I would tell Tanner that I really don't care if it's spoiled, but I like seeing both of them bicker back and forth.