I'm Blind Not Fragile

Chapter 20

"We are very well behaved today, aren't we? It's so refreshing not having you talk back to me every time a thought comes into your head"

"I'm sorry for misbehaving in the past, it won't happen again." I knew I had said the right thing when Howard responded,

"Indeed it won't," He sounded very pleased. I released a small breath knowing that I wouldn't be hurt today. But the relief gave way to curiosity of why he wanted to see me. I killed his wife 6 years ago today.

"Was there something you needed me for, father?" I asked trying to figure out why exactly I had been called to his office.

"Yes, come here, sit." I walked toward the sound of his voice slowly until I bumped into his desk and groped around until I found the chair to sit in. Once I was sitting He said "I need you to sign something for me Gertrude." He handed me a pen and guided my hand right above some peace of paper. "Sign your name right there for me."

"What is this?" I asked, because I could be signing anything right now.

"Are you questioning me, Gertrude?" He asked calmly, but the razor edge of his tone was enough to scare anyone, not just somebody who knows what he's capable of.

"N-no, father I'm sorry I didn't mean to." He exhaled sharply, and I began to sign my name, even though I couldn't see what I was writing we were all taught how to sign our names at school. Over and over until we got the muscle memory down.

I was nearly finished writing Lewis when my neck snapped to the side and pain bloomed across my cheek. The force of the slap was so great I swear I felt my brain jiggle. "Your name is Gertrude Lewis, I thought you understood from yesterday, who you are and where you stand, but maybe you need another session with the horse crop." He threatened.

"N-n-no father please I didn't mean to, I swear! I must have just written Raine Lewis out of muscle memory. Please, I know my name is Gertrude, please I didn't mean it."my voice came out weak and whimpering at the end. I could not endure another 'session' with his horse crop, I just couldn't. I thought I had a high tolerance for pain but that crop makes me doubt that.

He took a deep breath in and let it out. "I believe you Gertrude, but you should think about what you do before you do it. Rebellious behavior will lead to pain, I think you understand that now don't you?" He asked and I quickly nodded in response. "Good, now let's try again." He guided my hand over what I assumed was a new piece of paper, I signed it, this time being very slow and deliberate with the letter I drew and the name I wrote down. Gertrude Lewis.

"Congratulations Gertrude, you are now a proud graduate of the Brooklyn School for the Visually Impaired. A Mrs. Hanley helped me finish up all the paperwork and she vouched that you were well beyond your year in school. Now that this is settled I have another order of business we must discuss." He carried on. I was to shocked to do anything. I'm out of school? How? I won't ever go back there? What about Sebastian? God I haven't met with him for nearly a week, he must be so worried. And now we will probably never see each other again.

"As I was saying Gertrude, I have exciting news," he carried on oblivious to the fact I had completely zoned out for a second there, "my deal went through, we will be having another dinner at the chamberlain's and you get to go back to Brooklyn with your brother. After that we can discuss your future, see if we can't get you a job at Lewis Corp. You are dismissed Gertrude, I'll have Juniper bring you a dress tomorrow." I stood up and nodded on my way backtracking to find his door, he said one last thing to me.

"Happy Birthday Gertrude. A shame your mom isn't alive to see it." His words and double meanings made me want to break down and cry. Again.

Me and Juniper went back to the tower, and I laid in my bed thinking about how I finally got to go home tomorrow.

Meanwhile somewhere in Brooklyn:

Something is wrong. Something is very very wrong. Gertrude hasn't been home in 5 days. Dad said they're spending time together and the school doesn't seem worried but I know something is wrong. I feel like the worst brother in Brooklyn. My little sister has been gone for 5 days, under the excuse of spending time with a man we both know she despises, and I'm just starting to get worried now?

This is the first time in our entire lives I wont be with her on her birthday. I know she holds a lot of guilt since our mom died, I know she still struggles with it. But no matter how many times I hold her and tell her she's not at fault she never believes me.

I tried sending her to a therapist once, but that only led to her giving everyone the silent treatment. Even me.

Her disappearance has gone too far. I need to know where she is and why she's not answering my calls. Her friend Sebastian says he hasn't seen her in more than a week. That she skipped school twice last week. All of this is so unlike her.

I've been so blind recently. All this drama between me and Erica has made me ignore the one person I'm in charge of. My little tough sister, who is always trying to prove her independence. God I hope she hasn't gotten into trouble.

The longer I pace in the kitchen and think about all the reasons Raine hasn't tried to call me back, the more I feel like I need to do something.

I stop wearing a hole in the wooden floor and grab my coat off the hook. The police station isn't 4 miles from here, I can be there in 15 minutes on my bike.

I know something is wrong Raine. I'm coming to get you. Please oh please be ok. I need you to be ok, because it's your birthday and I don't think I could survive losing you both on the same day.