Rival

This is my story

"Maybe I am, but at least your talking. Tell me what's wrong" he sounded desperate as if he needed this.

"You wanna talk Ronan, let's talk shall we. tell me which one shall I tell you first" the words tasting like venom in my mouth.

"Kie.."

" the fact that most of my teenage years I have lived under the roof of a man who raped and abused me" tears began falling.

" or the fact that I have lived in fear most of my existed, always afraid he'll come back and take me."

There was nothing but awkward silence.

"Choose your pick, which will it be Ronan" I couldn't stop the tears anymore, they just kept coming and coming. "Which one will it fucking be!!" I yelled, The taste of anger and guilt rested on my tongue.

He stood there, his tanned face turned white. "Kiera" he whispered. He began moving towards me and I let him, I wanted his warmth.

"I'm sorry" whispering in my hair.

He pulled me down to the floor next to him.

" I hate him" I sobbed in his chest " I hate him so fucking much".

He said nothing, stroking my hair, giving me the comfort that I always wanted.

"I'll rip him apart" I heard him say " I can promise you that, I'll destroy ever piece of him" I could hear the anger in his words.

I shook my head on his chest "I killed him" I told him.

More silence.

"Wait here" he said before getting up. I stayed on the floor watching him.

He began closing all the curtains, closing any door that had light running through it. My heart began racing watching him do this.

He then moved to his room, returning with a shirt on, heading straight to the mini bar he grabbed two tumblers and I bottle of whiskey.

"Not the best whiskey in my opinion" he mumbled to himself "but it will do" Ronan said sitting across from me.

"What's with the closed curtains" I hiccuped.

He gave me a hidden smile " so you can talk to me without it actually being me, image I'm someone else, as of this moment I am just a body and the face of someone, anyone you want it to be".

Your already in front of me.

I wanted to say to him, but tucked it deep inside. I closed my eyes and pretended I was imagining the face I wanted to see.

"Do you have your person" he soothed.

"Yes" I barely let out.

"Now" Ronan cleared his throat "start from the beginning, and if in any moment you want to stop, just get up and walk away. I won't stop you, but promise me you'll try"

"I promise" I sighed.

So I began telling him what happened " my mother married Brandon when I was thirteen. My parents were divorced and my father didn't live in Michigan."

"I remember her coming home and telling me about this perfect man she had found" I smiled to myself ." she would come to my room and tell me about how her dates went like a school girl telling everyone she was finally asked to go to prom with the popular kid" a little laugh came out remembering that memory, I looked up and saw that Ronan had a slight grin on his face.

"Anyways, a year later he had proposed to her and she had her dream wedding, he moved in with us two days later" I paused a moment.

"At first he would slightly graze my behind, he would always apologise so I thought nothing of it.
Sometimes when I would be washing up the dishes he would always push himself behind me always apologising always an accident. So I began doing things when he wasn't around." Swallowing the lump in my throat, I carried on.

"Three days after my 14th birthday he began acting strange towards me, when we were sitting down, he'd gripped my thigh, I tried pushing his hand away but he would squeeze harder that it would leave bruises sometimes, or one time I was walking to the kitchen and he'd slap my butt" tears began streaming down my face.

" I bought new shorts and thought why not walk them through the house to break into them. I was so wrong" I shook my head, a bitter laugh escaped my lips.

"Kiera you don't have to" Ronan reassured.

"That was the first day he raped me" interrupting him. I looked up at him, watching his jaw flex.

"He blamed it on me. He blamed it on what I was wearing. But that didn't matter, he still did it. I could be wearing nun robes and he'd blame it on me" I watched Ronan, I didn't know what I wanted to find. Maybe find him disgusted in what I was telling him. None that appeared on his face only cool concentration.

"He'd never let me leave the house without him or my mother, and she was so blinded by love, she didn't see what was going on" I stared at the ceiling.

"The amount of hints I would give her, give anyone for that matter, they would brush it off and see it as nothing. He was unbearably controlling, whispering in my mother's ear what I could and couldn't do and she would always, always agree"

I lowered my head, staring at Ronan.

"This went on for four years"

" one day I snapped, I had enough of him, couldn't bare him anymore. So I came up with a plan. I told him I wanted to go to the store and if he could come with me, he agreed. We have an alleyway we need to walk through to get to the store. I lured him in and when no one was looking, I stabbed him with a small knife."

"He deserved it Kiera, don't you dare think that he didn't" Ronan said moving closer. He wrapped his arms around me "I'm proud of what you did".

" Sebastian found me and the body and agreed to help me" I sniffed. " he came with me and told my mother we had been robbed, Brandon tried fighting them off but they stabbed him. I looked my mama in the eyes as a spoke those lies, I watched the life drain out of her." A broke out again.

****
"It's not your fault" he began rocking my body.

"That's when I came with Sebastian into that disgusting, smelly warehouse" I mumbled in his shirt.

"You walked in looking like a scared lamb" I felt his chest vibrate, realising a laugh.

"And you looked like you'd eat me, lion" I whispered.

"Look at me Kiera" he placed both his hands on my shoulder, pushing me to look at him.

"Your not a victim, you are a survivor. You've come this far, keep reaching for that light of hope and when you have it grip it as tight as possible because you deserve it, you deserve all of it, do you hear me?" Ronan's voice sounding firm.

I nodded to him, my mind racing with different emotions, emotions that I pushed aside to leave for later.

I grabbed the whiskey bottle and began pouring both of us a glass.

"Here's to hope" I looked at Ronan with my swollen eyes.

We raised our glasses

"To hope"

Ok I won't lie to you I cried writing this😪.

I know it was lengthier then the other chapters and I'm sorry if it was. I hope you enjoyed it though that's what matters.

To anyone who has experienced any kind of abuse or SA.

You are survivors be proud of yourselves that you have made it this far. Keep reaching out for help, talk to someone.

There is light under that dark tunnel. Grab that light by the balls because you deserve it.

"You are not a victim for sharing you story. You are a survivor setting the world on fire with your truth. Any you never know who needs your light, your warmth and raging  courage"
-Alex elle