Project HALO

Chapter 39

I raise my eyebrows. "What? That's awesome! Not about her grandpa, but you know what I mean."

"Hah."

"How are you holding up?"

Maybe it was a bad idea to bring up Katia. Mikey has a habit of being more worried about other people's problems than his own. I have to make sure he's okay in the middle of all this craziness.

"I'll be fine once we find the flash drive," he says and tries to smile, but it's halfhearted.

For the first time since we came here, I see how exhausted he is. The sight yanks at my heart, and the fact that I haven't noticed before makes me feel even worse. His eyes are bloodshot behind his skewed glasses, his skin an ashen hue, and his cheeks hollower than usual. The guilt settled at the bottom of my stomach expands so much it physically hurts.

Suddenly all the issues we've had don't seem so serious anymore.

He's struggling just as hard as me.

We don't know what the future will bring, but I want to make things right with Mikey. It's about time, and even if it feels uncomfortable to bring it up, I have to do it. Better to talk about my feelings than drown them.

The bright sun disappears as we drive onto the tree-covered road.

"Mikey," I say, my tone much graver now, my gaze fixed on the passing forest outside. I briefly glance at him when he turns to see my face, and his thick eyebrows pinch together.

"Hm?"

I don't answer. I'm too busy fighting my fear of opening up. It's still there and I'm not sure if it'll ever go away, but I'm stronger than it. I'm stronger than my fears.

"What? Did you do something stupid again?"

"No, I—"

He sighs. "Who did you fight?"

"It's not that, it's... Uhm." My voice shakes and I clear my throat. "I just wanted to say thank you. For everything."

"Okay... You're welcome?" He scoffs, but I stay serious.

This isn't the time to laugh things off. That'll just keep our issues floating right underneath the surface. Frank said I have to talk about things if I want to get rid of them. I hope he's right.

"I also want to say sorry." I adjust in my seat and spread my fingers out over my knees. "Sorry I was a bad friend and got you into trouble."

I inhale and try to fight my thoughts of resentment that come crashing in. It was his own fault. He left you like everyone else. I shake my head.

"I know it was my own fault."

His lips part as if he wants to say something, but the words don't come. He inhales, exhales. Stares at the road.

"I'm sorry, too," he finally says.

I didn't expect that, and a light sensation of gratefulness spreads across my chest. Mikey was always too good for me. I defended him from bullies at school, but that's about the only positive thing I did for him.

"It wasn't even me who called the police that day. My mom found your alcohol and weed in our room when she visited, and... I don't know. She snapped. You know how she is with me and my education." Mikey sighs. "So she had me change rooms and I had to promise to stay away from you."

I throw my hands out. "Why didn't you just tell me? I thought you hated me."

The memories are painful, but it helps to know the truth. To know he did it because his mother said so, and not because he wanted to. Not because he hated me.

"I know I should have, but I needed to stay away. Mom threatened to make me transfer if I didn't, and who knows where I'd end up then. I didn't have the guts to start over somewhere else and I didn't have the guts to tell you the truth and I'm sorry for that." He grinds his jaw and his fingers tighten around the wheel. "I don't hate you."

I would usually judge someone for being a coward, but being torn away from your best friend isn't cowardly. It's unfair. I can't blame his mother, though. I did put Mikey's education on the line by behaving so recklessly.

"I forgive you," I say, and it feels so much better to say those words than I ever could've imagined. I never even realized they were part of my vocabulary. "I want us to be friends again. Like we used to be. I miss you."

A genuine smile softens Mikey's features. He glances at me and nods.

"I forgive you, too. I guess I even missed you getting in trouble just so I could help you out of it." He chuckles, but I sense some tension behind it.

"Not this kinda trouble, though," I finish his sentence for him. "I'm sorry for this as well."

"No more sorries," he says. "We always find a way. You know I'd help this cause even if you weren't involved, so let's make the best of it."

I lean back into my seat and stretch an arm out to squeeze Mikey's shoulder.

"Deal."

My body feels lighter than it has in forever, but a tightening sensation still lingers at the bottom of my stomach. As if something isn't how it's supposed to be.

I turn the car's GPS on and glance at Mikey.

"Where exactly are we going?"

He hesitates for a moment and searches my face, but I keep it so neutral he can't possibly find any trace of the unease roaming inside of me.

"I have a strong feeling the unit in Roannberg is the one, so let's check that out first. It's not too far from downtown."

He gives me the address. As the GPS calculates the drive, I see for the first time where Phantom is located: Kjenes.

"Have you heard of this place before?" I point it out to Mikey.

I've never been to Kjenes, but I've heard about it. There's nothing but farmers and their sheep out here, which makes sense as to why Phantom wanted to stay here. No one would ever think to search for a high-tech hacker group far out in the countryside.

"Kjenes? Well, I knew we were there, but not really."

"What? You knew?"

Mikey raises his eyebrows, unimpressed. "Charlie, I'm a hacker, remember? Doesn't take a lot to figure out my own location."

"You could've told me," I say and slam dramatically back into my seat, folding my arms tightly over my chest.

"You could've asked," he says matter-of-factly and I slap his arm. "Ouch, rude!"

"The GPS says we have one and a half hours left until our destination, so you better behave from now on." I point a finger at him, but he waves it away.

"You know, there are better ways to tell me you have a crush on me. You have a very primary school-approach to flirting." Mikey winks at me and my eyebrows lower. I open my mouth to tell him to shut the fuck up, but he beats me to it, "Just kidding! Chill."

That's easier said than done.

"I'll calm down when we have the key," I say in what I hope is a bright tone, but my expression is solemn. We have to find it today. We have to.