"He thinks that he's done something wrong." Tobi says, shoveling a handful of potato sticks in his mouth. Ignoring Freya's multiple earlier protests that they were her potato sticks and no one, not even him, could touch them.
"I don't know what to do, Tob," she starts and drags the bag of crisps away from Tobi, "I want to talk to him. I want to see him but I just can't. Every time I look at him I see a baby. A baby that could have been ours and I know that it isn't his fault but I can't help it. Just tell him that I need some alone time, please."
Tobi snatches the crisps back, grabbing another handful, "I'm not doing your dirty work. No matter how hard it is, we are not twelve anymore. You don't ask your friend to break up with your boyfriend for you. It's scummy."
Freya scrunched her face up and drags her feet off of Tobi's lap and press he chin upon her knees, "I don't want you to break up with him for me. I want you to tell him I need some time."
The thought of breaking up with Josh made her feel sick. It caused a small bubble in her stomach to slowly rise and she knows that the more she thinks about it, the more the bubble rises.
"There isn't much difference, Frey." Tobi informs, keeping his hand in the bag of crisps whilst pulling his feet up under himself.
Tobi had been in the center of the Frosh relationship ever since Josh realised that Freya was avoiding him. He'd become a sort of messenger, taking things between the two people and, frankly, he was sick of it. If Freya wanted to tell Josh something then she would have do it herself. He wasn't a skivvy. He sure felt like one though. Sometimes he even wondered if his friends were really his friends and only wanted things from him but that of course was a fleeting midnight thought that would cross through his mind for two seconds before being suppressed by the countless amount of evidence against it.
"I just want to be happy." She groans, putting her face into her knees and shaking her head.
"Everyone wants to be happy." Tobi replies, feeling slightly pissed off that Freya was being so self centered. Even if she did have good reason to be.
-------------------------------
He tried. He went on with his normal life. He recorded videos, he went out. Life was normal even if his insides were laced with doubt and regret.
He regretted the quick decision they had and knew that she did too. The regret didn't hide the relief of having the weight lifted off his shoulders but it did present a whole new scenario to deal with. One that was twice as heavy.
He had heard that people grieved after an abortion and he knew it was true because every now and again he would feel a pang of hurt or guilt, mainly whilst he was out and saw families with little babies or when Adriana, Ethan's best friend, came to the house and mused about her new little cousin that was 'the cutest thing ever'. Frankly, he tried to avoid her when she came round. One thing he hadn't expected was Freya turning into a hermit. The only people she had talked to since then were Tobi, Rosie and Bronagh. Only Tobi actually knew what happened and was more than sympathetic about it, which caused sickening surges of jealousy to run through him. It hurt that his girlfriend, the one person he loved more than anything, found more comfort in another guy other than him. He felt like a teenager experiencing unrequited love except he was twenty two years old and four years into the relationship. There was some reassurance in the fact that this guy was one of his best friends, a person he would trust with his life. He also trusted that Tobi was on his side, if that's what it was, and was trying to convince Freya that he hasn't done anything wrong, whatever it was he was supposed to have done.
He didn't ask for this. But then again, no-one ever did.
-------------------------------
Freya was never good at confrontations, even confronting Josh. She always opted for a quick text to tell people how she felt, a small message that could be read as a call for help or a confession but in no way would give away more than she wanted. A text was controlled unlike her untamed facial expressions that always betrayed her wants.
"Hey." Simon's voice pulls her out of her thoughts. She smiles at him, taking in his surprised expression. It was probably because she hasn't been there in two weeks, or that it was three in the morning. She couldn't decide.
"Hi." She replies as she walks through the widening gap in the door, "How're you and Ethan?"
Simon's smile sickens her. It reminds her of Josh, it was the sort of smile she would wear around him.
"Good. Great, actually." She nods, a small, happy smile on her face, "Josh is in his room."
And with that she is up the stairs and knocking on his door, suddenly feeling like she needs to give him some privacy. She was growing distant from him and she didn't like it.
A shout of, 'come in', causes her to instinctively grab the door knob and turn it, standing at the door. A silent statement that she wouldn't be staying long.
Her breathe hitches as she sees Josh and for a moment she swears she sees a small child in his arms but after blinking realises that it's just an Xbox controller.
"Frey?" Josh asks, oozing disbelief.
"I think we should take a break." She blurts, not thinking.
"What?" His voice a hope different essence of disbelief. He didn't want this to happen.
"Yeah, just for a while. I need some time." She turns, choking back tears, and head back to the stairs.
"Why?" Josh shouts, standing in his doorway. Freya looks up, not realising Vikk's open bedroom door.
"Because every time I look at you, hear your voice or even think of you I see a little baby. A perfect mix of me and you. Something that we had and threw away and I can't bare it. I just need some time."
And then she's gone and Josh feels empty. Vikk, his mouth wide, stares at the top of the stairs.
He could have been an uncle?
:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:
I am so sorry!!! This chspter is two words shorter than my normal goal and I FEEL SO BAD ABOUT IT!!
Woah! Stop! What is this?! Two updates within twenty four hours? What are you thinking, Oliver?
This was it... the chapter I was scared about... I have never really written about a subject so sensitive like this so I would really appreciate if you would let me know if it was good and what your favourite part was. And vote and so on and so forth.
Chapter 14 sneak peek:
‘She absolutely despised shopping and didn't even know why Adriana was there or why she needed help. Not to be cruel but Adriana wasn't really a close friend of theirs and people like her weren't normally accepted into their pity trips but for some reason Rosie had thought it would be nice for her to tag along. Adriana seemed nice, Freya just wasn't as comfortable around her than she was her other friends and, frankly, would rather have JJ following her around.'
Baiiiii!!! Love you guys xx <3 xx
YOU ARE READING
stumbling into line (sidemen ff)
Fanfiction'Would you give up your happiness for her?' 'No, she is my happiness' --- 'One add one equals one. Me add him equals one. Everything equals one. But how you get there is always different.' --- 'Love is a one time thing, but it's so unknown to hum...
