Project HALO

Chapter 37

No.

I'll leave Phantom alone. I don't owe them anything. I don't owe this country or this world anything when it's given me nothing but injustice and lies in return.

"Come on now, let's start the party," someone finally says, and I'm ready to drown every single one of my thoughts. I haven't had a drink in five days, but it feels more like five years. I crave to be numbed.

It's dark outside by now. The Phantoms fold their papers together, shut down their computers, and place red cups and alcohol on the coffee table and on a table underneath one of the big windows.

As they sink into the sofa around me, I press my lips together and get up, walking to the other table now filled with an array of alcoholic beverages. The Phantoms will continue to discuss their plans, no doubt, but I don't want to hear it. I want to drink and forget about everything. I have to drown the cluster in my gut before it grows any bigger.

I recognize a brand of vodka and pour some into a cup, adding a splash of soda for good measure. I sit down in one of the empty chairs beside the computer desks and take a sip of my drink, fighting away a grimace as I taste the vodka. It's strong. The first few sips sting my throat, but I don't stop.

The room is alive with conversations, and I sigh when I hear someone sit down next to me. When I see it's Will, I wish it had been anyone else.

"What?" I say through my teeth.

Now it's Will's turn to sigh.

"Why are you so angry?" Will says. Her voice is low, her eyes are on me. My own eyes are trained at the floor. I have to count to ten before I can answer.

"Are you really asking me that?" I say, taking another sip.

"I'm sorry," she says, folding her hands around her own cup. I wonder if she's drinking alcohol. She doesn't strike me as the type. "I understand you're upset. I would be, too. But you have to know that we saved you. If we didn't, you'd probably be dead by now. Mikey as well." She leans forward. "You know, the files actually protect you. The biochip is designed so that any data stored on it will be destroyed if the owner dies. In other words, Regina can't kill you."

That is a relief, but I don't show it to Will. I wouldn't be worried about being killed or not if it weren't for Phantom, anyway.

"Wow, that's great. Here I thought dying was the only way to get out of this shit, and now I can't even be killed." I take another sip. "Gotta do everything myself."

She rubs her temple. "I think you'll understand more if you're able to let go of your anger. It's eating you up. Even now as I try to talk to you, you're blocking me out. What do you get from that?"

"I try to block out bullshit," I say.

"Stop." Will leans forward, her elbows on her knees. "I want to help you."

I look at her. "You want to help me so I can help you. That's all there is to it."

She stops, her mouth hanging open for a moment. She snaps it shut. "That's unfair."

"The truth usually is unfair," I say and get up.

She's probably trying to help me in her own way, but it's not working. I don't need a therapist or a mentor. I need more alcohol.

I spot Mikey and walk over to him. He's talking to Frank and Maya. Frank pretends to be shocked when I come over, his mouth forming into an O.

"Are you here to... to socialize?" He says, and I roll my eyes in return.

Maya avoids my gaze and I feel bad. Will probably told her not to tell me anything about the files, so it's not really her fault. I ignore Frank and put my hand on Maya's shoulder.