If All Else Fails, SHUCK IT

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~Chuck

"Alright!" Spit flew out of Gally's mouth.

"We need to make an offering with these beasts. Tonight, we sacrifice Thomas and Murphy's shitty excuse of a brother Terrance." He frowned at the unconscious Thomas.

Last night was a nightmare, We had to run from these flabby ass spiders and they destroyed everything. The worst part was, it was BBQ night! Thomas stung himself too, but I never even got one bite!

~last night...

"Ready to eat your first clean piece of BBQ Chuck?" Minho handed me my meat.

"I was born ready, you know, this is #9 on my updated bucket list? It's nothing compared to #17 which is to pee and poo in a hole in the ground and use leaves to wipe my poon poon, but hey, this is good too." I have been waiting for this moment. Sometimes I lay awake at night craving the food I once had, but now that it's in my hands, I feel complete.

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" Someone cried. One of my BBQ sticks were suddenly knocked out of my hand by a long syringe.

"OH SHIP IT'S A FUMPING SPIDER!" Minnie shrieked as she ran to her emergency hiding place.

"What's happening ?!" Reyna came back with more food. SCORE!

"WE NEED TO HIDE." Thomas pulled me to my feet.

"Hold up Thomas, just let me finish this-"

"BEHIND YOU!" Reyna grabbed my hand, making me drop my food. Thank god I hid BBQ sticks in Minnie's overall pockets, and Minho's backpack, I knew something was going to happen!

"Reyna and Chuck, you take everyone to the homestead, Minho, let's slay some giant ugly gr-"

"ASS." Minho boldly finished with his hands on his hips. He was nodding and smiling like we were on the same page, when in reality, that just made him look really stupid because... Well you do the English and math, gr+ass=______

"I was gonna say grievers, but YEAH..." Thomas fist pumped the air.

~Gally

"LET ME IN! LET ME IN!" Someone banged on top of the box. I opened the lid a little bit, and saw my BRF (Best rock friend) lying on the ground.

"GIVE ME MURPHY FIRST." I shouted over the noise.

"GALLY NOT COOL, JUST OPEN!"

"THE ROCK, SEYMOUR." I stuck my hand out of the box.

"GALLY!"

"SEYMOUR, HAND ME MY FRIEND."

"BUT GAL-"

"JUST, GIMME MURPHY AND YOU'LL BE OKAY."

"FINE. HERE." I felt something hard land in my palm.

"Okay you can come in n-"

"AHHHH!" Seymour was suddenly pulled away into the dark abyss of night.

"Gally! What the hell?!" Fabio slapped me.

"We couldn't save both of them, but at least I have Mur-WHAT THE HELL? THIS IS A FUCKING ROCK!" I opened the top of the box, and chucked the piece of shit at a near by greiver.

"But... Murphy's a rock..." Fabio frowned.

"UGH! NONE OF YOU UNDERSTAND ME!" I roughly rubbed my face.

~end of flashback

"Hey Thomas!" Minho flicked a pebble at his forehead through the would bars of the cell.

"I REMEMBER EVERYTHING." Thomas jumped up from the ground. "I USED TO WORK WITH THE FUCKED UP PEOPLE WHO PUT YOU HERE , BUT IT'S COOL GUYS, I'M NO CRAZY BITCH. THE EXIT IS THE GRIEVER HOLE. I KNOW IT SOUNDS CRAZY BUT IT IT'S THE TRUTH. NOW WHO'S WITH ME?!" He said that so fast he sounded like the guy who hosts a bidding that goes TWENTY-FIVE, TWENTY-FIVE, DO I HEAR A TWENTY-FIVE? SOLD TO THE YOUNG LADY WITH THE TEEN WOLF SHIRT! DO I HEAR A THIRTY DOLLARS? THIRTY DOLLARS? SOLD! THIRTY-FIVE, THIRTY-FIVE? GOING ONCE? GOING TWICE? AND THE LAST YOUNG MAN OF THE NIGHT, NEWT, IS SOLD! THANK YOU FOR BIDDING ON EBAE, HAVE A WONDERFUL NIGHT!

"I'M WITH THOMAS!" I raised my hand. Holy mother of fandoms, that should be on a shirt! Note to self, #20 of bucket list, create a shirt that says I'M WITH THOMAS... P.S, #21 of bucket list is to create an EBAE company... P.P.S, Advertise Newt on a billboard.

"Um... Alright. I guess it's now or never, but you better know what your doing shuck face." Minho shrugged.

"Yeah, yeah-"

"DON'T YEAH-YEAH ME! YOU'RE LEADING MY GIRLFRIEND AND PRETEND KID INTO THE MAZE! THINK THINGS THROUGH OR I'LL BACKHAND SOME SENSE INTO YOU. IF THIS FAILS, I'LL MAKE SURE I END YOU BEFORE THE GRIEVERS DO!" Minho seethed through gritted teeth. He has the whole red face, wonkey eye twitch, popping neck vein, and constipated face going on...

"It's cool, I know what I'm doing... But if all else fails, we'll just shuck it." Thomas nodded his head.

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