High School Endings

Chapter 14

Naomi Mason

Days have past and leaves have change color. Trees are becoming naked and the air is getting cooler. While everything around me is changing, I still remained the same. Nothings change. I still have this damn brace on. Still crutching around school everyday. Still depend on peoples help even though i don't want it. Srill not playing soccer and its killing me every single day. Even though everyday i wake up and don't feel like trying because their is no point, i still do. I get up every single day, put on my best fake smile, throw a couple laughs here and there and bam everyone thinks your okay. What they fail to realize is that i'm not okay. I'm breaking all the time. When i thought everything was falling to place something had to fuck it up like always. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be happy. It ruins every chance i get to have a normal life. TO forget about all the fucked up shot that has happen to me. It still haunts me every single day of my life. Its the extra weight on my back. Everyday i think to myself Whats wrong with me? Why I am i like this? I didnt choose to be like this. I never wanted to have these problems. I just want to have a normal life like everybody else. I don't want to be stuck with all these stupid feelings and get hurt in the end. I've been hurt so many times in my life and it sucks. It really fucking sucks and some days i hate myself. I hate how everyone thinks i'm perfect but i'm not. sometimes i even wonder why i have a boyfriend? What randy see's in me or how can he even stay with me when i'm such a mess. I just don't understand. I'm so lost in my own life. I have no idea what i should do. I have all these problems and i dont know what to do with them.

During my free period in school i'm suppose to go to the library because of my cripple self but as much as i love the library i'm tired of just sitting in there by myself. I need a new change in scenery. When the hallways cleared i stuffed all my books to my locker and crutched my self to the back of the school. I reached to the back of the school and pushed the door open with my shoulder and headed out the one place that i could really be myself at.

The soccer fields.

Gladly their is no one on them so its just me and peace. I slowly dragged myself on to the field contacting my foot with the grass. It feels like home, But being here reminds me of the day i got my injury. The day that still haunts me. i arrive at the half line and stare at the goal. It pains me not being able to play and the soccer team has been doing real bad. We lost three games in a row. That has never happened before. Is it really because i'm not there? Going to the games and watching that is horrifying.  I took a deep breath and closed my eyes imagining that i'm playing, but the thought goes away when i'm remined about my horrible accident. I open my eyes and nothing. Still an empty goal.

"I knew i would find you here stranger." Someone said behind me

I turned around to see Matt walking up behind me. I gave him a small smile and turn my head back to the goal.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him

"The question is what are you doing here." He replied

"I asked you first." I said

"Well I was going to visit my friend in the library and bring her this starbucks thats in my hand but she wasn't in there. There was only one other place she could be and its this place right here. " he handed me the starbucks. Its what i always get. How did he know? I guess i probably told him and forgot

"I know you better than you think." He added

I smile and took a sip of my starbucks.

"Thanks.' I mumbled

He nodded " so now that i told you why i'm here care to tell me why your here when your not suppose to be because of your leg?"

"I was tired of just sitting in there by myself. Needed a change of scenery."