I'm Just Sayin' If You Really Loved Me You Would Share Him -A Jamilams Fanfic

Chapter Forty Six

Thomas watched John worriedly. When they'd gotten back to the Schuyler residence, he'd shut himself in the bathroom for ten minutes and when he'd re-emerged he wouldn't let Alex or Thomas touch him.

His eyes were red, and he stared out of the window in Alex's room. Alex sat down next to him, and he barely reacted. "John?" Alex asked gently.

Thomas laid a hand on his shoulder, but John shrugged it off and curled up into a ball. "John, please speak to us, we're worried about you," Alex begged, but John kept staring pointedly out of the window.

Thomas had a stupid idea, but he was gonna do it anyway. "I'll be right back," he promised Alex, walking out the room. He could hear Alex saying something behind him, but he ignored it.

Thomas walked into Angelica's room, and she started when she noticed him. "Do you guys have a ladder I can borrow?" he asked. She nodded.

"In the garage. Why do you want a ladder?" she asked suspiciously. Thomas didn't answer, just left for the garage.

He managed to get the ladder into position outside Alex's window and climbed up next to it. John's eyes widened when he took in the sight of Thomas at the top of the ladder.

Alex also noticed, and nearly started crying. "Thomas, what the fuck?" he asked. Thomas shrugged and John smiled, just a little bit. Thomas grinned like a maniac, and Alex opened the window.

When Thomas tumbled into John's lap, the latter smirked down at him and said, "Nice of you to drop in." Alex sighed in relief, leaning down to kiss his boyfriend.

"Fucking idiot," he mumbled. John petted his hair gently and Alex sat up with a sigh. "Are you okay?" he asked John seriously.

John looked away from them both with a frown. "I'm not not okay," was his answer. Thomas raised an eyebrow and sat up.

"What's your deal with loud noises?" Alex continued. "I've never noticed before today when Anna started screaming and also when Mary and Thomas were arguing."

Thomas looked guilty, and John lay a gentle hand on his cheek. "S'not your fault," he murmured. "You didn't know."

Thomas smiled weakly. "I know, but I still feel bad," he said.

John shrugged and looked Alex in the eye. "Back when my mom was still healthy, she and my dad used to fight. Sometimes I'd get dragged into it and they'd stand there, my dad screaming at me and my mom screaming at him." He took a deep, shuddering breath.

"My dad never hit us, any of us, my mom included, and he always apologized for the fights afterward, but they were frequent enough that I grew to hate loud noises and yelling," John continued. "The last time he and my mom had a screaming fight, she collapsed halfway through, and we had to take her to the ER. That was when my mom got diagnosed."

John suddenly burst into tears, burying his face in his arms. Thomas pulled him into a hug, but John just struggled until he managed to break free. Thomas let go, slightly hurt. 

John tugged his legs into his chest and Alex's heart felt heavy. "John," he said gently. John made a noise in acknowledgment. "Why don't you want either of us to touch you if your dad never hit you?" 

John shot around and glared at Alex. "Why is that any of your business?" he snapped. Alex held his hands up in surrender.

"I'm just saying it doesn't add up," he argued. John scowled and Thomas put a hand on each of their shoulders. 

He cautioned, "Don't say anything you'll regret later." Alex and John seemed to ignore him, glaring each other down.

Then John deflated. "What do you want to hear?" he asked quietly. "Do you want to hear all the details about how I borrowed one of your razors? Because something tells me you don't, not really."

(Should I mark this story as mature due to insinuated but not explicit self-harm?)

Thomas frowned sadly and slowly reached for John, giving the latter a chance to move. He didn't and Thomas pulled John into his arms, rocking him like a child. John let out a stifled sob.

Alex moved and joined Thomas and John in their hug. One of John's arms went out and wrapped around Alex as he stifled another cry. Thomas rubbed his back gently, coaxing him to let it out.

Alex hummed a soothing tune and both him and Thomas let John decide when or if they talked. After a few minutes, John pulled back from both of them and sniffed, wiping his nose with his hand. 

"I'm okay, you guys don't need to worry about me," he told them.

Thomas raised an eyebrow and gently kissed his forehead. "I'm always gonna worry about you baby girl," he promised. Alex nodded in silent agreement, resting his head in the crook of John's neck.

"Never gonna give you up," Alex sang quietly, making John push him lightly. He smiled at his not-boyfriend gently. "We should probably try to get some rest," he suggested. 

John hummed in agreement and nuzzled into Thomas's chest, the arm around Alex squeezing his shoulders gently. Thomas chuckled and nudged Alex into standing, carrying John over to Alex's bed.

Once he placed John down, he moved away, grabbing his night clothes and walking to the bathroom to change. "I'll be right back," he promised. 

Alex and John just changed in the same room. They were already comfortable in front of each other and had dressed like this before. When Thomas came back, he jumped on the bed, making Alex and John giggle as they joined him.

The two smaller boys rested their heads on some part of Thomas's anatomy, Alex on his stomach, and John curled up against his shoulder. "Night Tommy, night Lex," John muttered tiredly.

"Goodnight John, night Thomas," Alex replied, sleep slurring his words slightly. Thomas just hummed in a way that said 'goodnight' without him having to say it.

~

Okay! Well, this is turning into a slower burn than I thought!