Daylight

43 He left me

"WE HAVEN'T TALKED for two weeks."

"Yes, I heard." Sebastian's mother sighs sitting opposite me in my living room. Sebastian has her eyes and smile, seeing her makes me feel slightly closer to Sebastian. But it doesn't mend the growing pain in my chest from missing him.

This apartment is so goddamn empty.

I hate sitting here without him. I miss resting my legs on his lap as I read. I miss the way he steals glances at me and I pretend to not notice. I miss poking his arm with my pen until he snatched it from me and held it above my head. Then I would act annoyed but we both knew I was just bugging him to get him to pay attention to me. The way I would climb onto his slap to retrieve the object always led to the same thing, every time, which was obviously fun for me.

Then that night. We had the same argument. For what feels like the millionth time. But this time it's different because he left. And he never came back.

Sebastian left me.

My lover left me.

My best friend left me.

And I don't think he's coming back.

She sets down her cup of coffee, "Talk to me."

"I thought I made it clear that I didn't want our relationship to be public but he just doesn't get it. Why can't we keep our relationship private?"

"You guys argue about this all the time?"

"Yeah. We used to rarely argue, but now that we're together all we do is fight. And even when we did fight he would always come back and we'd make up. But he didn't turn around this time. He didn't even call. Sebastian is gone."

The way Sebastian's mother is looking at me is exactly the same way Sebastian used to watch me. I'm completely consumed by waves of raw emotion. I didn't know I could love someone this much. I didn't know I could need someone this much. I had no idea I was capable of sharing this kind of connection with someone.

"I think he's finally had enough of me. It's fine. I'm used to people leaving. It just...it just really hurts. When he walked out the door, I lost my lover. But the worst part is I also lost my best friend."

"Let me tell you a story." Sebastian's mother lifts her hand and wipes away a tear on my cheek. "I knew you were special to him before I even met you. Since he was a kid he always had this cold demeanour, he rarely lets anyone into this life. As his career started to take off, the group of people he trusted became smaller and smaller."

Her forehead creases over her troubled eyes, "People around us started to change which made Sebastian much more guarded. But every now and then he would mention this girl. And his face would just light up. His father and I were very shocked to see him smitten, cheesy and blush. We never thought he was capable of feeling those emotions!" she laughs.

"Sebastian's father knew very quickly, that this woman was the one. Even told Sebastian to marry her before she slipped away. Although I saw a change in Sebastian, I was still sceptical. I wanted to meet this mystery woman."

She takes in a deep breath, her eyes glaze over, "And darling when I met you. I knew he was right. You and Sebastian are meant for each other. There's something almost strange about the way you two are together. The way he watches you-it's so...protective. Like he's about to throw himself in front of a bullet to save you."

I laugh, "Is that a bad thing?"

"No." She smiles as she struggles to find the words. "It's just different. He's very intense about you... and very careful. It's a side of him I've never seen before."

There is a flutter in my stomach. I've forgotten how much she saw when she's around us. Something about her simple view of the world cut through all the distractions and pierced right to the truth of things.

"It's not just him." She set her lips defensively. "I wish you could see how you move around him."

"What do you mean?"

"The way you move. You orient yourself around him without even thinking about it. When he moves, even a little bit, you adjust your position at the same time. Like magnets... or gravity. You're like a satellite or something. I've never seen anything like it."

She looks up laughing, "You're the best thing that has ever happened to him."

I take in a deep breath but that doesn't help my tears from strolling down, "Really?"

"Yes! You are his first love and he's crazy about you. Of course, he wants to show you off and tell the world that he finally got his dream girl!"

"But the world is cruel. I want to protect us."

"Bella, do you trust Sebastian?"

"Yes, with everything I have."

"Do you have faith in your relationship?"

"Yes."

"Do you think he's the one?"

"Yes."

"Then nothing can separate the both of you. How long have you known each other? How long have you loved each other? The bond both of you have is unbreakable Bella. Have faith in your relationship."

"I do but-"

"You're the one girl he trusts enough to fall for and you're going to nail him to the wall if you keep doubting his love." I turn away from her, unable to see the expression that went with the pleading tone in her voice.

I have no idea how to respond and she finally sighs, "He is hosting a photography gallery tonight and I think you know the photographer. She's called Mia, please come."