Daylight

24 First Date

I AM HOT, TOO HOT. I try to pull the covers off me, but they won't budge. When my eyes open, the night before comes flooding into my mind.

I try to lift myself, but Sebastian is too heavy, his head lying across my chest and his arm wrapped around my waist, his body cloaking mine. I'm surprised we ended up like this. I admit I don't want to leave this bed. After our conversation last night I'm just glad he managed to fall asleep. I stay as still as possible studying his face under the morning light beaming through the windows.

Sebastian chuckles, his movement sending vibrations across my body.

"You're awake?"

"Are you done staring at me?"

I push Sebastian off by his shoulder, rolling him onto his back, "I said you could sleep with me not ON me!"

"You have terrible sleeping habits, you almost kicked me off the bed. The only way I could get you to stop was holding you tight in my arms," he yawns.

"Whatever," I say. I swing my feet over the side of the bed and shove them into my slippers, shuffling to the door.

"Where are you going?" he asks.

"To get breakfast, I'm hungry."

"I slept very well last night," he says which stops me in my tracks.

He laughs at my wide-eyed gaze. "The best sleep I've had for years."

"Really?" I breathe.

"Yes, with you."

I swear I can see the pieces of the broken man in front of me slowly come back together, one by one. It's a beautiful sight, but also deeply terrifying.

"What does this mean?" I ask. I feel like the dynamics between us is constantly shifting. This reminds me of how we became friends in the first place. Since the day I met him, everyone saw him as this almighty invincible man, yet deep down he is a vulnerable boy. After all these years, nothing has changed.

"WAIT DON'T MOVE!"

Sebastian freezes mid-way through drinking his coffee. I take out my polaroid camera and capture this moment. Behind Sebastian is the perfect view of the water from this beach cafe, I can see myself coming here every morning.

Absolutely perfect, Sebastian in his white hoodie and black cap. His wide-eyed gaze makes me giggle. "What are you laughing about?" Sebastian asks with his mouth full of pancakes.

"You look cute in the photo that's all."

He chuckles and takes the polaroid camera out of my hands. He holds it up, I make a pose with a smile, the camera flashes.

"Look at that couple," I say discreetly pointing to a couple in their 80s sitting near us. They sit opposite each other, the man feeds her a bite of food and wipes her mouth. The woman smiles so brightly at him it makes my heart hurt a little.

"Will I ever find someone like that? Grow old together, love each other forever and ever?" I sigh, feeling my eyes water. "I'll never find the one. All I do is break, burn and end relationships."

Sebastian places his hand on mine and squeezes it three times, "Be gentle with yourself, you're doing the best you can and life doesn't come with instructions."

"Even my career is suffering because of this shit, my reputation has never been worse. People who I thought were my friends abandoned me, people I trusted turned their backs on me, who's going to stay?"