Lion's Den

Chapter 35

Juice was pacing his cell again. Solitary confinement was pure torture for him. It wasn't exactly pleasant for anyone but he couldn't function alone. It heightened the anxiety and his compulsions and he just couldn't quiet his thinking when there was no noise to distract him. Juice thrived off the energy of other people. He had been alone far too much as a kid and so as soon as he had his independence he wanted to surround himself with close knit groups. Some gangs as a teen in NY, then the mob in NY and then SAMCRO in Charming. So being separated from them and locking him back alone just threw him back to that time as a kid.

Worst thing was no contact with Roxy. She knew how to calm him down, it was her personality combined with her profession.

He'd spent all his time this last week just thinking about her. Focussing on her and the future they could have together. That was fine for the first few days while he counted how lucky he was. Then a few days in his mind started thinking of all the possible ways she could leave him. That's when the compulsions started, if he just did this the right way, or that the correct amount of times, she wouldn't go away.

Even his hour of yard time a day was spent thinking about her. He just jogged around the little cage, same amount of steps each edge he went around, otherwise his worst fears would come to life.

God he could not wait to see her. If she was still there.

By the end of that first week the guards had started to notice his weird behaviours. Like pacing his cell, making and remaking his cot, the organisation of his room, the continuous push ups he would do, trying to ensure he could do the exact same amount of push-ups every 5 minutes.

Eventually one of the guards had him taken to the infirmary for a mental health assessment.

Shit, he didn't realise he had gone that far off the rails. They had notes from his juvenile detention which had contained his diagnoses. They suggested he actually start the Meds he was supposed to take for his OCD. But he refused. He did not want to be the crazy guy on pills. Definitely not in jail. There'd be no way to hide the fact he was going to the infirmary for medication twice every day. The club did not need to know that.

He assured them he'd be fine as soon as he could see his girl again.

Thank god he only had one week left in here.

xxx xxx

Roxy had taken the two tests she had purchased and both had come back positive. She booked an appointment at the hospital as soon as she could. And would go on her lunch break.

It was now Wednesday, the day of her appointment. She had managed to avoid everyone since Saturday, she couldn't see them seeing as she was worried she would let on before she'd even confirmed it or told Juice.

Her nerves were on edge as she sat in the waiting room. How could she have let herself get in this mess. They were usually careful but they had gotten a bit carried away during their reunion.

And what was Juice going to think? He'd be in Stockton until the baby was like 6 months old! She knew he wanted a family. It was something he'd talked about before but this was too soon for them, not to mention he'd miss everything he wanted.

The doctor was calm and reassuring as she ordered a bunch of blood tests as well as a dating scan so they could be sure of the due date.

By the time she got home that night she was panicked. She had to give up smoking and drinking; so no wine to calm her nerves. At least with the smoking the doctor advised her to give it up slowly as quitting cold turkey would put her body under more stress which was worse for the baby. So for a while she could still indulge in that vice, despite how guilty it made her feel.