You've Got to Be Kidding Me (Louis Tomlinson Fanfic)

Chapter 57

*two weeks later*

Sunday’s POV

This is much better, this is what I wanted.  His arms draped around me my head on his chest he’s body comforting me. For a whole week he was busy holding someone else and it hurts because he’s only mine behind the scenes. And to be honest I don’t know how to feel about that. Betrayed? Insufficient? Jealous? I know that I am jealous. I’m jealous that I am not the one being flaunted, going to events, getting his attention, feeling his affection. I’m jealous that Kayla took all of that from me and I’m only left with when he’s available and I know its not Kayla’s fault but I wish I was dressing up for gala’s, going on picnic dates, going to new events, just spending time with him is what I wish for.

I know that it only has been just two weeks. But I don’t know how long I can do this for? Watching them ‘fall in love’? Waiting for his attention? Being I’m left with the small pieces of time with him? How long to I have to watch him show ‘love’ to my best friend and not to me? I can’t even handle a week and now a month sounds like torture.

And I’m scared. I’m scared that what we started will end faster than it began. So I clutch on tighter because I’m too scared of what our future will entail.

I look across from the room and see that Harry is holding on to Kayla also. Does he feel the same? Does he have the same worries?

I turn my eyes away and focus on the conversation in front of me the boys were taking advantage of their free days by relaxing with some conversation.

“Hey you ok?” Someone whispers in my ear. I lift my head and stare into his clear blues eyes a hint of worry shining in them. I nod and go back to laying my head to his chest this time closer to his heartbeat.

**

I woke up on a person’s lap.  My best guess was it was Louis’ which it was, we were still in front of the TV some were either watching the program or having a conversation. Louis’ eyes were more focused on the television than what his friends were saying.

So instead of talking I watched the show with him. I didn’t really pay attention to what was in front of me now that I’m up my mind keeps racing with questions again. My mind just keeps going back to that night, the night where Louis and Kayla made their public appearance.

It was an odd morning after that night, no one really talked and by no one I mean the four of us didn’t talk. I kept my distance from Harry considering what almost happened the night before and he did the same with me. Louis wasn’t well he told me that he had too much to drink so he wanted to recover. Being the person that I am I didn’t bother asking why he came to the hotel in the morning instead of last night. I went to visit Kayla and she told me the same thing about how ‘she had a wild time and now her head hurts’ I didn’t bother to ask what time she came from the club. So I spent my day with Liam and Niall just roaming the city block. I wasn’t worried about Kayla and Louis they both sounded like they had different experiences just with the same results. I didn’t want to break my mind about what happened or what could have happened.

‘A relationship has to be built on trust’ is something I’ve always heard and believed in. Now my problem is am I trustworthy? Was that night an example? I stopped Harry, and I knew that he was just hurting and drunk. And so was I but I kept my ground and I did the right thing? Did I?

I sigh internally; I don’t like this I don’t like what they’ve done to us. For a whole week I’ve been worried about what they’re going o be forced to do and what I’m going to have to live with. I’m not being overdramatic am I? No of course not I have every right to be this worried. Like I said before we’ve started something and now it seems like it’s going to end. No I need to be strong I’m not the only one going through this there’s four of us. And now I’ve realized how selfish I’ve been I haven’t asked how Louis felt about this or even Kayla I mean I know that they don’t want to do this but I never really gotten to know they’re deep thoughts. I guess we’re all too afraid to say something, more like too distracted.