31. Willing

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Chapter 31: Willing

Ellie's POV

*****

I WAS NEVER ONE to hate school. Learning excited me. No matter how boring the subject matter was, I loved getting to know new things. It made me feel as if my mind was becoming a library of information which I might find use for someday in the future. School was never just about listening for me, but it was also about learning and understanding. 

That was exactly why I was shocked the moment I took a look at the grade sheet for our midterm's stuck on the school's notice board. I had always been one of the top scorers, and I lost that in an instant.

I felt gutted, and the world seemed to be spinning beneath me. I had no idea how I was supposed to tell my parents that my grades had gone down. With everything that had been going on with the band, I barely had time to study and work like I used to before. James did not seem to care that we were still students who still needed to go to school and study. 

"I can't wait for winter break," Adam said as we sat down on our usual table in the cafeteria. 

Everyone agreed, and I would have too had I not been so overwhelmed with my marks. I could not believe that I hadn't seen it before. I was working myself harder than I had ever been for the band, which resulted in me going to my classes exhausted. Nothing was entering my head anymore, and I hadn't been doing anything about it. 

My parents were expecting excellence, just like they had done for my sister Lara and brother Noah. I never thought that I would be envious of Ethan, but I was. They never had any high expectations when it came to him. They always let him do whatever he wanted, and by time, they even stopped being disappointed in him. 

It all worked out for Ethan. He became what he always wanted to be. When it came to me, though, they wanted me to succeed like Lara. It was funny how they thought that the band was just a hobby, and that it never occurred to them that it was actually what I wanted to do. They thought that it was just a phase, similar to my makeup artist dream phase. But music was so much more than that to me. 

I could try to convince them of that all I wanted, but I knew that they would never accept it. The marks I got were not like me at all, and my parents could not find out about them.

"Ellie," Dylan said, nudging me. I snapped out of my thoughts as I realised that everybody was looking at me.

"What?" I asked, embarrassed that I had not been paying any attention at all to them. 

"We asked you if you were up for milkshakes after school," Adam said. 

"Oh, I'm sorry but I have a lot of homework. Maybe another time," I replied. 

"Hey, you okay?" Blake whispered, looking at me in concern. 

Plastering a fake smile on my face, I nodded. I hated talking to people about my problems. My problems were mine, and there was no need for me to dump them onto someone else. 

Blake sighed and looked around at Dylan and Adam, who were busy chatting away. Much to my dismay, Kyla had a meeting with the principal so that he could explain some things to her further. I knew that having her around would have been enough to uplift my mood. 

All I could think about was how I was going to get my grades up and keep my parents from finding out about the drop. The only thing I was still consistent in was music, but not even getting the highest grade in that was enough to put me in a good mood. 

"That's it," Blake sighed before getting up from the table. I looked at him, uncertain as to what he was doing. "Ellie and I will be right back."

Grabbing my arm, he dragged me away from the cafeteria and out into the nearly empty hallway. He looked worried about me, and I hated that. 

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