Changing Tune

25. Not ready to get down

Chapter 25: Not ready to get down

Ellie's POV

*****

I closed my eyes as I felt the wind on my face, my ginger waves appearing as if they were flying behind me. The swings which we were currently on were squeaking with every small movement Blake and I made. 

It was the first time in a while where I felt able to take a proper breath, the fresh air seeming as if it were clearing my lungs from any impurities. 

"He was my best friend," I told Blake as I finally looked at him. 

Blake had suggested to get out of the car and have a walk around the park when he noticed how distraught I was. I knew that he wanted me to talk to him. He wanted me to let him in. No matter how much I cared for Blake, I didn't know what I wanted to tell him. 

Every person I had ever let in had abandoned me, and I knew that trusting Blake with things I wouldn't trust anybody else with would mean that I was attached to him more than anybody else. Blake was different, I knew that much. He genuinely cared about me, much like the rest of the guys. 

No matter whether I trusted him or not, the fact still remained that if I chose to tell him, I would have been betraying Luke. He was afraid to tell me because he was afraid of people finding out, and there I was, telling Blake about everything that happened. I felt absolutely guilty, and my chest hurt every time I thought about it. 

"Blake, this is exactly why he didn't tell me," I told him. "He didn't want people finding out, and thought it would be best not to tell anyone. Looks like he was right," I said as I let out a dry chuckle. 

I felt as if I had disappointed him, and all of the anger I had had towards him suddenly turned into understanding. It was true, the fact that he chose to hurt me rather than telling me the truth was utterly stupid, but he recognised it and felt bad for it. He genuinely didn't want to hurt me, and even if he did a horrible job at it, I can't resent him for it. 

Would I have done the same had I been in his shoes? 

"Hey," he softly said as he stopped the swing with his leg, the pebbles crunching beneath his feet. "I promise you that I won't tell anyone. I have no reason to anyways, Luke and I aren't friends, and there's nobody I would tell."

"Not even the guys?" I asked, stopping as well. 

"Not even the guys," he said as he put his pinky in between the two of us and smiled at me. 

I chuckled before intertwining mine with his, choosing to trust him. 

"There's that beautiful smile I absolutely love," he told me the moment I smiled at him, causing my cheeks to burn red and my eyes to snap away from his. 

I hated the feeling I got every time he complimented me, but I loved it at the same time. A lot of feelings came rushing to me every time I was with Blake, and I had absolutely no idea what I was going to do about them. I couldn't tell him how I felt because it would cause problems, but I certainly could not forget about them either. 

"Ellie," he sighed before my eyes met his. 

My heart felt as if it were leaping out of my throat as he grabbed the chain of my swing as well to pull himself closer to me. We were so close that I was starting to get uncomfortable with our proximity, yet I couldn't get myself to look away.