TIED [l.p] ✔

Epilogue

I PEER at the tedious ceiling of the room. Junior is soundly asleep in her crib beside my bed. She looks peaceful after the long day we have had, softly sucking on her pacifier. It was almost impossible to get her to sleep. She threw up after I fed her the formula milk but eventually, after a lot of effort and humming and singing to her, she finally fell asleep.

Counting seconds, I wait for the sun to rise above the horizon, I wait to start a brand new day. The time seems to be tip-toeing by. I turn my head sideways to look out of the window, hoping to find something interesting that could help me pass time but even the first snow of the winter can't seem to put my mind off the nasty string of thoughts that pass my head.

Junior fussing in her crib catches my attention. I shift my concentration to her, hoping for both of our sakes she doesn't wake up. It would be so much better if Jane was here. She can handle her better than anyone, even me. I know she thinks Junior likes me better, maybe she does, but she needs her mother the most. I slither towards the other end and gently pat her stomach, humming along lightly. Her face is illuminated by the moonlight pouring through the windows. I smile down at my daughter's sleeping figure.

Mom asked if I wanted her to stay back to help take care of Junior but I declined her proposition. Junior barely went to anyone. Whenever I tried to pass her, she started wailing in my arms. Looking at her like that, all I wanted was to fold her in my chest and never let go. I guess she was missing her mother just as much as I was.

I pull my hand away from her once she is settled. I continue gazing at her; it's better than staring at the ceiling, first snow or anything in the world. I am still amazed by how tiny she is, so dainty. That is why I am always so scared she will tumble down from between my large arms.

A lady in her late fifties enters the room, breaking me from my thoughts. She is barely perceptible in the dimly lit room. "Mr. Payne, your wife is out of the operation theatre; she is in a stable condition." The nurse informs. The moment the words fall in my ears, I rise to my feet. A groan escapes my throat as I feel the pressure in my legs.

I ignore the pain and ask, "Can I see her?" My heart beats rapidly in my chest. I can scarcely help the smile that makes its way on my lips.

"I am sorry, Mr. Payne, the doctor just wanted me to tell you because you were stressed out. You can't meet the patient until tomorrow. She needs rest," She explains, apologetically.

"It's okay, I'll look from afar," I promise. "I just want to see her." With the best pleading eyes I can muster, I request. She hesitates before agreeing to my request. I don't wait for her to detach the IV from my wrist and heedlessly pull it off. She complains but I cut her off. "I'll be back in five minutes, can you look after my daughter?" I ask.

She smiles adoringly at me and nods. I bolt outside the door, limping as I run. Not bothering to wait for the elevator, I take the stairs. The pain in my legs almost feels non-existent with the adrenaline pumping in my veins.

In a few seconds, I find myself outside the Intensive Care Unit. Through the vision lite, my eyes land on my beautiful Jane. She looks calm and serene, and despite the bandages on her skin, she is the most beautiful woman ever. The huge machines beside her bed don't go unnoticed by me.

During the time away from her, I have come to a realisation that I don't have anything if I don't have her. Watching the paramedics take her into the ambulance, I felt pain like never before. I couldn't feel my body or the people around me, just the pain. I was sure I wouldn't survive it.

After I have stared at her enough to endure the night, I make my way back to my room. Each step away from Jane is harder than the last. The pain returns and I limp to the lower level.