Forever

15

Shannon POV

the warmth from cari lying next to me made me feel safe. it reminded me of so many things. it reminded me of our first night that we spent together, that awkwardness but the safe feeling.

"shannon you can talk to me you know" cari said. she knew what was on my mind, she always did. no one knew me like her.

"one of the reasons Amelia and i didn't work out is because i want marriage, i want kids, i want to live in a big house and go on roadtrips every state with my kids, i want to settle down. i'm thirty two, i don't want to spend the time getting to know anyone new, i don't have the time."

i felt myself getting emotional, and felt like i had shared too much, so i tried to stop the conversation before it went anywhere

"sorry, i shouldn't, i don't want to lump all of this on you, you have your own stuff"

i sat up and went to stand up, but Cari stopped me

"no, you literally flew across the country because i needed you, now you need me, even if you don't want to admit it, i'm not just gonna let you brush it off"

"you don't realise how much i love you cari, nothings changed, you know, i picture you in my future, no one else, those plans i was talking about a second ago, you are the person i want with me"

fuck, that wasn't the plan shannon. what are you doing. it was silent, cari didn't say anything. ive really fucked it here. did i even really mean what i just said

"but, but, i also am so reserved. as much as i still love you, you really broke my heart, and i don't want that to happen again, i can't go through that again." i said shyly. i was really putting everything else on the table here.

"when we broke up, i said i needed to learn to love me, i needed to learn to be independent, and ive done that. and i'd be lying if i denied being in love with you too. It's all ive thought about for the past 4 years. i hated myself for letting you go, fuck ive written 3 more unreleased albums about you."

"so what does this mean" i questioned. i was so confused. i loved cari, she loved me, surely thats all we needed, but it was never that simple between us.

"i don't want to make any rational decisions. i want to be here with you, and my family, and my dad, and we can reassess when we are back in LA. but shannon, i too am in it for the long haul, if anything were to happen, no stupid talking phases or dating for another three years, i want what you want"

Was she talking about marriage? because if she was that was not what i expected to hear. but she was right, i had to let her focus on her dad, and that was fine with me, im just glad we are on the same page, i think.

"it's late, i'm tired, i should head to bed" cari said, standing up

"goodnight, cari"

"night, shanbee"