Nightfall

Twenty Four

The cold swirled around Katara, but she welcomed it. It matched the cold, dead feeling of her heart in her chest. The cold that was around her was nothing compared to the cold feeling she felt inside. There was a soft touch to her shoulder, but she brushed it off. She didn't want Aang's pity or anything like that. She wanted to stay curled up on the floor, drowning in her sorrows. 

Katara didn't know how long she stayed collapsed on the ground. It felt like forever had passed since she killed that boy. His face haunted her dreams, so she didn't sleep. Soon enough, he was a ghost in her awake state, haunting over her during the day and night. Aang had tried to convince her that the ghost wasn't there, but Katara knew better. Why else would she hear the mourning cries bouncing around the caves? 

Many times, Aang tried to console her and tell her everything would be alright, but she just brushed him off. He didn't understand the pain she was going through, the pain of killing someone who had a whole future in front of him. She stole his life away from him, and for what? Just to win a silly game? She had promised herself and Sokka that she would try to win this thing, but now that she had killed someone, she was ready to be killed off. At what cost was she willing to win? Kill everyone here? That was not who she was. She was not willing to compromise her beliefs and values just to win the Games. 

Katara took a shuddering breath, pulling her knees up to her chin. She wanted to be miniscule, to be tiny enough so that no one would see how she was a monster. What would Sokka think? Would he be proud of her for standing her ground? Or would he look at her with disgust, hating her from that moment on? She wasn't sure, though he was her brother and he loved her, no matter what. What would her father think? Her grandmother? Her mother? Would they all see a monster where she sat? And if she were in another's body, what would Katara see? A killer?

Katara thought about the Gamemasters and everyone else in the Games, wondering how they allowed the killing of innocent people. She didn't know how the Gamemasters could watch kids slaughter each other. It made her sick to her stomach to think about all of the Games that had gone on in the past, and how so many kids had died because of the Gamemasters and their silly game. Even in the Capital, people were so excited for the Games, which baffled Katara. Why were they so excited for death? Killing people shouldn't be glorified like it was in the Capital. It should be condemned, and so should the people who enjoy it. 

Another ghost floated down next to the boy Katara killed, her young face pinched in a grimace. Katara screwed her eyes shut, but she could still see the girls burnt body laying in the underbrush. If only Katara saved that girl. If only she was faster. If only Aang had enough strength to call out for help. That girl was younger than most of the people in the Games, so she had more to live for. She may have not been the youngest, but that didn't mean that she couldn't enjoy life. She obviously had a friend in the Games, one that could have been apart of her future. Was her friend alright? Did he manage to escape the hands of the people who had killed the girl? 

Smellerbee was her name. Katara promised the ghost in front of her that, if she got out of this thing alive, she wouldn't forget her. She would do everything in her power to bring a light to every single person who had died in this arena, so that people wouldn't forget who they were. 

Katara opened her eyes slightly and sighed when she saw yet another ghost standing in front of her. It was a boy this time, and she remembered him from the ball. He was annoying and so very cocky. Sokka had killed this boy at the beginning of the Games, and at the time, Katara was grateful for that. Now, on the other hand, she was devastated for the boy. Sure, he may have been overly confident, but that didn't mean anything. He had family back home, he had a future ahead of him, he had everything that Katara has now. His days were numbered, and his days were cut short. Had the Spirits known he wasn't going to live to adulthood? If they did, why would they allow the Games to take him? He should have lived till he was old and grey, but no, he died early on. Was Katara meant to do the same? She knew her days were numbered, but how long did she have left? 

A sob escaped her lips when she saw Gran-Gran. Her ghost was smaller than the others, but it was the most familiar to Katara. She was her mother figure after her mother was taken, and it cut Katara deep when she got the news that Gran-Gran had died. She didn't allow herself to grieve for her grandmother, but now, the emotions spilled out of Katara. She could feel Aang behind her, holding her as she cried, but she didn't focus on him. She wanted to keep her grandmother in her sights. She was afraid she would disappear right in front of her eyes. 

While she was still at home, Katara could tell that Gran-Gran was deteriorating slightly, but she didn't know how bad it was. Gran-Gran was on the older side, so it wasn't surprising that she would die now, but it was still surprising to Katara. She had lived with Gran-Gran for so long that she thought she was invincible. There were many times where Gran-Gran should have gotten hurt, but she didn't. Katara couldn't picture a life without her grandmother because she had always been there for her. Sure, they butted heads on more than one occasion, but Katara loved her dearly. Oh, Spirits, why did Gran-Gran have to die? Katara sucked in a deep breath, her face wet with tears. There was basically no one to go home to, now that Gran-Gran had died. And if Katara ever went home, she wouldn't really been truly home. Home was with Sokka and Gran-Gran and her dad and her mom. 

One last ghost appeared next to Gran-Gran, a hopeful smile on her face. This was the one that hurt the most. A girl shouldn't have to grow up without her mother. In what world was it alright for a little girl to live without her mother? Mothers are supposed to be there for their daughters, to teach them the ways of being truly alive. They are supposed to console their daughters when their hearts get broken. They are supposed to be be their daughters biggest fans. Katara had none of that. She was left alone without her mother, the one person that really understood her. Her mother was ripped away from her, and for so long, she was hopeful that her mother was alive. She wasn't as hopeful now. If her mother was alive, she would try her hardest to get away from the people who stole her away from Katara and get back to her kids. She had to be dead if she was appearing to Katara as a ghost. 

Maybe it was better to be dead. Dead people couldn't feel pain, right? They couldn't feel the overwhelming emotions Katara was feeling. And if she were dead, she'd be with her mother again. Oh, how wonderful it would feel to have her mother's arms around her again. Katara couldn't even remember the last hug she got from her mother. Death would be a welcome relief to the depression she was swimming in. 

Just like that, Katara stopped crying. It felt like her tear ducts were shriveling up, like they wanted her to stop crying. She could feel the boy behind her, his arms wrapped around her body. He was holding her as she cried, and she could feel his head buried in her hair. Maybe death wasn't what it was all cracked up to be. Maybe life was better than what she thought, but how could it be when everyone she loved had died? 

"Everything's going to be alright," Aang murmured against her back. She slowly flipped over so that she could bury her own head in his chest. "It may seem dark now, but at the end of the road, there is light. If you can see that light, grasp it and hold onto it. Allow it to lead you out of the depression you are in. And if you need me, I'll be there as you take the steps toward the light."

"Thank you."

"Wow, that was so inspiring," another voice said, echoing around the cave. "Too bad I have to kill you both now."

Aang jumped up, making Katara fall to the floor. She lifted her head and saw a small girl standing at the entrance of their cave, her arms folded across her chest. Katara remembered this girl. She looked like she wasn't very intimidating, but she was. Her pale eyes stared ahead, and Katara remembered that she was blind. How did she find them if she was blind? 

Here was Katara's chance to die. She shakily stood up and stepped in front of Aang, throwing her arms out to her sides. "Go ahead. Kill me." The girl snickered, shaking her head. "I'm serious."

"No, she isn't serious," Aang said, pushing Katara back. "You don't have to kill us. We can team up."

"I was never going to kill you," the girl said, rolling her blind eyes. "That was a joke. I would love to team up with you two, if you'd have me." She grinned, cocking her head to the side. "I'm Toph, and I'm a great addition to your team, if I do say so myself."