Desiring You [Submissive #1]

Chapter 19

Ryujin's POV

"Ryuddaeng, what do you like? Mocha, orange, spicy, or... Me?" Yeji asked with her unusual voice

God is she flirting with me, and it's fucking working.

First I find it cute but as the days go by I felt this sudden palpitation of my heart, I'm quite aware of this feeling I had but I'm still scared I feared it. Really

"Hey, Shin I've passed a convenience store, then I saw this" her voice trailed as she handed me this blue-haired, purple hood monkey.

I grab it and look at it, it's so cute.

"She's so cute" I muttered while I adored the plushie, I'm gonna name this tukk.

"She would be Hatt's playmate" she muttered while holding the stuffed toy and gave it a squeeze.

"Do you like me?" she asked as she grinned at me.

I sighed as I put down tukk and looked at her. I know, I'm not that blind Yeji is making an effort and here I am also pushing myself to figure somethings out and also facing my fears.

But also day by day fear consumes me as I looked at her, she somehow reminds me of her.

"She's not like her" I anxiously blurted as I shook my head.

Yeji looked at me with knitted eyebrows then I realize I mouthed my thoughts. With shaky hands, I waved at her and forced to put a smile on my face.

"It's nothing"

"Do you like me?" here she goes again with this question and just like the past few days I gave her an apologetic smile that made her slumped down her shoulders.

Sorry, Yeji I still can't ready myself to be committed to anyone.

"It's okay" she replied and gave me a forced smile.

I looked at her with wary eyes, please be patient with me I know someday, someday I'm gonna find myself falling in love with you.

My heart clutch in pain as I saw her back slumped down, this is not the first time but whenever I see her hurt it made me so guilty knowing I'm the cause of all of it.

'Just wait Yeddeong'

Morning came, I looked outside the window, laying here my bed again after getting disturbed by a little amount of sunlight in my face.

'Please let me live cause I get to forget how to love someone and how to feel when to be loved by someone'

I hit my head multiple times as I tried to brush my thoughts from that night away from my mind.

"Why do you ask her for this, if you're still afraid" I questioned myself.

The words from that night came into my mind again. I hid my face on my pillow hiding my embarrassment.

"God I sound so desperate" I grumbled as I hop out of my bed and decided to go to the bathroom doing my morning routine.