The New Girl Next Door | Lee Felix |

163

Seojun's POV

I stopped the car out of shock and looked at her "You mean, I-I got you pregnant?"

She nodded.

"You left me because you had a miscarriage?"

She nodded once again..

Fuck it. My hands were trembling not because of anger but because I worry about her. I drove the car and parked it to the side where it's safe for us to talk. I know we did that thing and I am not upset that she was pregnant, I wanted that and I expected her to be pregnant. But I nevet thought, it's too late for the baby. Also, I worry about her. She overcome that problem without telling me. I should've been there when she was in that situation. What kind of boyfriend am I?

Xera started crying "I'm sorry"

"Why are you sorry? I should be the one saying sorry for not knowing it sooner"

"I didn't know I was pregnant until I was brought to the hospital and the doctor told me I just had miscarriage. I was so scared that time that I might disappoint you if ever I told you I accidentally lost the baby. I kept it as a secret and told my siblings about it. They kept telling me to talk to you but I can't. It was my fault for not taking care of myself. I even lost the babg because I am so careless. I-I left you, s-so..." Xera

I held her hand and wiped her tears "It wasn't your fault. No one wanted that to happen. Maybe it wasn't the perfect time for us to be parents. Maybe that one  knows we are not ready yet and we have a lot of things to realize. You didn't know about the baby so don't you ever blame yourself, okay?"

I feel bad for letting her carry all the sadness. I should've been there if only I knew. I should've done something to cheer her up. I know how does Mothers feel when they are having a miscarriage. It's hard for them to move on and will blame theirselves. I saw how my Mom almost lost her mind when she lost the baby before Eunjoo. My Dad and I were there for her the whole time and she recovered slowly.

"I'm sorry for breaking up with you and not telling you about it. I was just really disappointed and guilty at the same time. I am really sorry" she said and kept crying

I hugged her tight "Calm down. You didn't want that to happen. You are so strong for slowlg overcoming it even though I wasn't there for you. I know what you feel and I want you to know I am here for you. I love you and I am so proud of you for being so strong"

"Still, I am sorry. I am really sorry" she whispered

I smiled and nodded "If I will say you are forgiven even if you didn't do anything wrong, are you going to stop saying sorry and stop blaming yourself?"

She looked at me

"Then, you are forgiven" I wiped her tears again and looked at her eyes "I want you to be fine and I won't let you break up with me again"

______________________

We are still in my car, parked at the side. I am currently holding her hand and playing with the promise ring we had on our 100 days celebration. I want her to calm down and remember I am always here for her.

"That time..." Xera

"You don't have to tell me if you are not okay with it. What matters right now, is you have to recover"

"I just thought I am having natural vomiting and heaches in the morning. That's usually what I feel after drinking the other night. I am so free and I enjoyed myself so much. I also got stressed with school works. I really didn't feel that I was pregnant that time. Then, one morning. I bled, even my siblings was shocked and didn't know what to do. They brought me to the hospital that's when I knew that I had a miscarriage. It was mixed feelings, I was mad, disappointed, clueless and stupid. I was shocked that I even got to the point where I can't even cry. I suddenly remembered you, I want to tell you but I was so weak. I chose not to, and broke up with you. My siblings were there for me, all thanks to them I recovered fast but there's still part of me that I am thinking. What if I didn't had a miscarriage? The baby might look like you" She sighed and smiled

"You were wrong. The baby will probably look like you but got my personality. He/She will probably be popular as fuck. Now, I want you to take care of yourself, I will also take care of you. Let's make that situation be our inspiration be ready for unexpected things that might happend to us"

She nodded.

"Besides, we can make one right away if you want-"

She glared at me "Are you crazy?"

"I was just suggesting"

She sighed..

"That was just a joke. Of course, I have to marry you first and we will do that thing again. I mean we can do it again but with protection-"

She hit me with her bag "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

I kissed her lips "But seriously, I will marry you and will take care of you"