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"Be compassionate with yourself. That means allowing yourself to grieve when there is grief. And giving yourself time to heal when there is injury. Unprocessed trauma doesn't go away. It lays hidden. Waiting. When it comes up through the surface, don't turn away or ignore."
— Yasmin Mogahed
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"Truthfulness is the key to healing. Quickly and completely. Being honest and open with yourself and ALLAH about everything. This means being honest about your sins. Facing them and begging ALLAH for forgiveness. And then doing what's necessary to make amends for any missed obligations.
This also means being honest about what you're feeling. The pain you've suppressed or numbed and the feelings you try to hide from yourself and the world. Not being open and honest and truthful is like a person who keeps a gunshot wound covered, but never cleans it out. It will get infected. And eventually even amputated. But the sufferer takes anesthetics to numb the pain. What will happen? The infection grows. Covering something doesn't make it go away. And time alone is not enough to heal a wound that isn't cleaned out.
To be truthful with ALLAH, first realize He never rejects anyone who comes to Him sincerely. No matter what they have done. Realize that ALLAH is more merciful than a mother is to her child.
Second, cry. Break. Be vulnerable with ALLAH. There is no truthfulness without vulnerability. And there is no hiding or fooling ALLAH. To do this is only to hide and fool yourself.
When you cry and break and show vulnerability and truthfulness to ALLAH, you are opening and cleaning the wound. When you repent and make amends with ALLAH you are purifying the wound. You then allow ALLAH to carry out the natural healing process. But when you cover and numb and pretend—when you put things in a drawer and throw away the key—you're only blocking this natural healing process and prolonging your suffering.
ALLAH has designed the human being extremely resilient. Wounds are a part of the design, but so is healing. You just have to make sure you don't get in your own way.
Don't be afraid of showing your true self to ALLAH. He will never reject you—no matter how broken or sinful you think you are. No matter how scarred. Don't be afraid to break to ALLAH. When you break to ALLAH, He builds you. Stronger.
Be truthful and begin the road to true healing and peace."
