The Stars Choose Our Lovers

Chapter 19

I've been enjoying spending time with Mia. However, sometimes she makes me uncomfortable when we are in public — well, it depends on where we are. She's very touchy and lovable, but there are certain places when I feel like she is ashamed that she's a lesbian. I wish she would come out to the world and be comfortable with her sexual preference. I am going to talk to her about it. I feel like if she's going to be ashamed of me or us — as much as I love Mia, I cannot and will not be in someone's shadow.

The other day, we took a walk in the park. It was such a beautiful day. The butterflies complemented the nice breeze, and the blue sky resembled the never-ending ocean. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. We brought our blanket, a couple of snacks, and we listened to some music. We were laid out on each other and very comfortable. Honestly, it felt like home. However, I noticed that when people looked at us, Mia could adjust how she was lying on me or would slightly push me away. She would say her arm was asleep or her back hurt. It was one excuse after another. Deep inside, I was very upset; however, I didn't say anything.

Just yesterday, we went out to eat at our favorite pizza joint. Mia would hold my hand, but when she saw someone we knew, she would quickly snatch her hand from mine. I looked at her, and she looked at me; she knew exactly what I was thinking. I was hurt, but once again, I didn't say anything.

School hasn't been a joy because people have been talking about me coming out as a lesbian. I am not ashamed, nor do I care what they think or say about me. What hurts the most is that at school, Mia speaks to me. However, she dodges me more than she speaks. We used to always walk to homeroom together, now it is more of a wave, and she will say, "Scarlet, I will see you later." Mia doesn't understand that being ashamed of herself and me is frustrating, disappointing, and it is very distasteful.

As I walked into my math class, all I could hear were whispers. People were whispering to each other to the point they sounded like evil snakes. Little do they know their poison words do not bother me. A girl by the name of Vanessa asked me if I tape down my breasts. Some of my classmates laughed. I joined in on the echo of laughter. I took a breath and smiled, "Vanessa, Vanessa, Vanessa, are you a lesbian too? Or maybe you are bisexual?" I looked her dead in the eye and walked over to her, "Do you want to see my tits?" I smiled, "Or maybe you want to touch them because for you to ask me that question, you must have been fantasizing about my boobs." Funny how the tables turn, because now people were laughing at her. She didn't know what to say. "Vanessa, you are thinking too long!" I touched her blonde hair, "I know what it is! You want to touch them, but you are scared to. It is okay. Sooner or later, you will have to come from behind the curtain, so you might as well do it now." I reached for her hand as if I was about to lift up my shirt, but she started to cry and ran out of the classroom, acting like she was the victim.

Vanessa's best friend, Stacey, yelled, "You are a freak!" I turned around, "I am a freak? You and your dense clique are bullies. You all go around here talking shit about people in your slutty clothes. I'd rather be a freak than a ho. Word around the school is that all the boys on the basketball and football team have each and every one of your names in a black book that they pass around." She flipped her hair back as if that was a compliment. Stacey looked back at her dumb-ass friends, "I know they do. We cannot help that we are the popular girls." I laughed, "You are denser than I thought. They have marked how many times they have fucked you and your ho friends. Y'all are slutty bitches to them with a hole between your legs that they all have been in multiple times." The class had a field day with their lame-ass, "Whoa... whoa... whoa."

Stacey stood up and yelled, "I'd rather be a slut than a freaky lesbian." I laughed in her face, "Maybe you need to get checked out to make sure you do not have an STD or are pregnant — and if you are pregnant, I hope you can pick your baby daddy out in a line-up." I walked away, then turned back around, "Damn, how many boys are on the basketball and football teams?" The class was clapping their hands, hitting their legs, yelling whoa, and were crazy laughing at my jokes.