My One and Only | BrightWin | 2gether AU

109 - Choke

Wat's POV

"I love you, Tine"

I could barely believe the words coming out of my mouth. It was as though my body was being driven entirely by my much repressed subconscious.

Tine looked fearful and shocked. He stood staring at me, his mouth forming a surprised "O" and his eyes tinged with immense sadness.

"Why would you say that?" he whispered, backing away from me. "Why now? Why like this?"

I was too stunned to move. Or think.

"I need time to process this, Wat. I think its best if we don't see each other for some time until I can wrap my head around this.

Don't call me. I'll call you" he said, and ran.

I stood rooted to the spot, frozen in body and mind.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. Did I just ruin it with Tine?

Almost on auto-pilot I walked to the soccer field. I didn't really register where I was or what I was doing.

"Hey, where's Tine? I thought he was coming with you?" asked Mil, jogging over to me.

I stood with my mouth half-open, trying to form words, but failing to find any.

"Are you okay, Wat? Maybe you should take it easy. You've not been yourself today" he said kindly, leading me to a bench and sitting me down.

He handed me a bottle of water, patted me gently on my back and jogged back on to the field.

"Shit" I cursed under my breath and held my head in my hands.

Mil was one of the nicest people I knew, and I had effectively thrown a spanner in his relationship with the boy he liked.

But my worries for my relationship with Tine at the moment superceded his.

What have you done, you dick. Fix it.

Nothing. No thoughts. Just blank whiteness. And a constant buzz in my ear.

Think, Wat. Something, anything to bring Tine back.

Nope. Nada. Just more of the buzzing sound and blankness in my head.

Tine's POV

Wat loved me. How could he?

He was straighter than an arrow.

He had slept with practically every girl in our school. He changed partners like he changed clothes.

He had never experimented with boys or even talked about it.

For fuck's sake, I had been arranging dates for him and cleaning up after his break-ups for the last two years.

It tore my heart to shreds every time he was with someone else. And stupidly raised my hopes every time he moved on from them.

I had spent years agonizing over my feelings for him, pining for him.

He had never shown any interest in me at all, as anything other than a friend.

I had taken a perverse comfort in knowing that Wat was straight. It helped me rationalize my pain and disappointment all these years.

It took me ages, but I was finally beginning to move on. And with a really great guy, too.

Why would Wat tell me he loved me and shatter my world this way?

I drove on, not knowing where I was going. Somehow I ended up at a lake two hours outside the city.

I sat down on the grassy shore and wept.