The Bad Boys' Soft Boys' Lonely Hearts Club - The Full Package

The Endgame - Uh, Endgame?

I open my mouth to make a witty retort, maybe something about her not being a lady or something, but Brayden has to chime in like a weirdly emo master of ceremony in a small town wedding and ruin everything. 

"i don't know who this mr. messina-park fella is, for i am don panini almordoba," he says,  twirling his mustache, "but i'm sure that, whoever he is, he has a great head of hair, and a huge di-"

"Anyways," I interrupt before he gets us put on the naughty list, "we are on time, right?" 

"Barely," she says while looking at her wristwatch. "Did you manage to find a fourth member for your merry band of misfits?" 

"Hayden," I say with a head gesture. He knows what to do. 

He approaches the table with the three people and slams the sign-up sheet with all the gusto of a wet brisket marinated for three months in a delicious garlic and rosemary paste. A simple word, like a bat out of hell, comes out of his mouth with the same force. 

"Nope."

8'43"

The paper is as-it-is. Meaning, only the name of us three. 

"I see," says Lee, pushing the paper back towards him with two fingers like a sassy librarian. "Do tell me, Mr. Hayden, why would you present an application that is clearly against the new regulations?" 

"I'm glad you asked," says Hayden. "Ayden, do you mind taking it from here?" 

"Certainly." 

8'04"

"You see," I say, sitting on the table as if it were a pool table on a dingy bar downtown. I swear I just heard one of the girls next to Lee swoon. "I propose that the rule change you penned is discriminatory against bad boys. I accuse you, Lee Vazquez, of abusing your power as a school council president to discriminate against bad boys!"

She takes a moment to blink incredulously, followed by a few extra blinks, only to finish with an "okay?"

"So, are you admitting it?" I ask. 

"No, I'm just taken aback by the most stupid dribble I've heard since the presidential debates. You pick the one. Whichever. How can you say that with a straight face?" 

6'28" 

I turn around to face the swooning girl. Let's call her...Renesme, 'cuz she looks the part. I give her my best smirk and she practically becomes putty in the seat. Woe of the janitor who has to clean that up. "You, random person. Did you ask why this sudden decision to change the requisite for club forming came out of the blue?" 

"W-w-well, no," she says by trembling and quivering so much that her body vibrated the air around her to form a response. "W-w-we j-j-j-just do what she a-a-"

"Asks, right. How about you, muchacho?" I say to the other person sitting next to Lee. "You know why? I'll tell you why, since we don't have enough time to establish a personality for you."

5'40"

"I happened to mention to Ms. Vazquez over here that I was looking to create a club with my two friends over here. She then tried to persuade me to join the student council instead. I said no, and then magically, the rules change. Do you see this? She is using her power to block us, a historically disenfranchised people, from forming a group."

Lee leans back on her chipped chair, a half-smile formed against her face. She's clearly enjoying this. 

5'01"

"So, let's say, hypothetically speaking, that you're right," she says. "That I changed the rules to stop you from forming a club. How in this whole scenario can you say you, the bad boys, are historically disenfranchised people being victimized?"