⌕ insane . 크래비티

• cries and screams

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chapter 1
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After finding out about them killing Chanhee, I started ignoring them. I was mad. I had been with them for more than a month and they had never even told me.

But the thing was that Chanhee was my best friend. He was my other half and I loved him. Everytime when I lost hope, I'd always think about him.

But what broke my heart were his last three words. I would never forget the day he died, the day he left me. It was unforgettable. His death was unfortunate, he was a very important part of me.

Everytime I lost hope, I'd always look back to the day when I lost him..

I looked at the blood on the ground and gasped in fear.

"C-Chanhee!" I yelled and ran to him. I held his body in my arms and cried.

"Y-y/n.." he whispered.

I knew that he was suffering, the air in his lungs were about to disappear and he'd soon leave me.

"D-don't go, Chanhee- don't go!" I yelled at him.

He smiled slightly and held his hand up for me. I held his hands in mine and sobbed harshly.

"L-listen, I'm sorry. I won't be able to give you milk for y-your birthdays anymore but please, love someone else.." he said with a smile.

I cried in his hands and felt how my heart was shattering.

He was so selfless.

He was suffering on the inside, and yet he smiled at me.

"S-stop.. y-you can't leave m-me.." i said in between hiccups.

"I can.. even if I wasn't the one who got shot, me and you would eventually die anyways, right?"

He started coughing up blood which alarmed me.

"S-stop Chanhee!" I yelled, covering my mouth with my hands. I was terrified at what I was seeing.

He looked at me with his eyes who were about to shut forever.

"I-I'm sorry Y/n.. I-I fell in love with you unconsciously.. I-I'm sorry for everything I've said to you.. I'm sorry for what'll happen to you in the future.. b-but.." i moved closer to him and held his hands in mine. "I love you.."

His eyes shut after his last three words.

My heart sank when his eyes closed.

"C-Chanhee?" I said as I shook his body.

"Chanhee!" I screamed.

"Chanhee!"

Nothing could explain my feelings. He was the most important thing to me, but he left me alone in this hell hole called life.

If only he knew how broken I was, he shattered my heart completely.

"Stop thinking about him." I said to myself.

I had been thinking about him for the entire evening, it was messing with my head. I was mad at him, but then again tears would form if I ever tried to hate him.

"Please stop.." I begged myself when I felt my throat drying.

I started crying again while they watched me.

"You know, you're actually hilarious." Wonjin said.
"You're crying and screaming for someone who's literally dead. Like, what's the use of that? He's not alive anymore, so why waste your tears for him when you could waste them for us? You know we love it when you cry, it's beautiful. But it hurts so bad when you cry for someone else, you know?"

His words made me cry even harder. He reminded me that Chanhee was dead, I knew, but Chanhee was in my heart.

I knew that Chanhee would be broken if he was alive, watching me cry. But he was dead.

I sobbed into my palms with my head against the wall.

"Leave me alone.." I begged them.

"Nope, not until you stop thinking about him and pay attention to us." Seongmin said, biting into his popsicle.

"I-I can't.. I miss him.. I l-love him.."

I felt how the room got silent after I said I loved him and cursed at myself in my head.

I shouldn't have said that..

Jungmo stood up and walked over to me. He kneeled down in front of me and looked in my eyes.

"If you miss and love him that much, then why don't I send you to heaven with him, hmm?"

My eyes widened in fear, I shook my head crazily.

"No! Please don't! I didn't mean it that way!"

Jungmo smirked and pulled me up.

"Good girl, that's what I wanted to hear. Now come, you're going to bed after all that crying."

I stood on my legs that were shaking and thought that I'd fall. I held onto Jungmo's arm tightly, in case I actually fell.

He brought me to his room and turned on the aircon. "Lay down, I'll go make you a little snack, you must be hungry."

I nodded and laid in his bed comfortably. He smiled and went out, closing the door behind him.

I hummed to "Flip A Coin" by VICTON for a few minutes until I started getting hot. I was sweating a little and decided to change, but I couldn't go back to my room.

If I went to my room and Jungmo came back, he'd think that I didn't wanna sleep with him and get mad.

I looked in his closet and found an oversized t-shirt. I wouldn't look weird in it since it was violet coloured.

I took off the dress I was wearing and changed into the shirt. I looked in the mirror and saw how big the shirt was.

I knew that Jungmo was tall, but I didn't know that he was that tall.

I sat on his bed with my head against the headboard as I waited for him to return with the 'snack' .

After a while, my eyelids started getting heavy. I tried my best to keep my eyes open, but they ended up dropping, causing me to fall asleep.