Tattoos and Scars | Rewritten Version

Chapter 19 || My Fault

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make sure you vote ♥️ and this is also another fast moving chapter- my bad. i swear, they'll slow down. 

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I feel my heart drop to my feet as I scurry over to the doctor. "Who didn't make it?" I ask, my voice trembling. "Who didn't make it?"

"I think it's better if you come and look for yourself upstairs. Are you with them?" The doctor asks, pointing to my friends. Or I hope they're still my friends.

"N-" Anna starts, but Blake quickly drowns out her voice with his own.

"Yes," He states. A flood of gratitude rushes through me, and I offer Blake a smile. But I'm not sure if he saw it, because he pushed past me already. Anna follows, giving me the nastiest look anyone could ever give as tears gush out of her eyes.

Ignoring it to my best extent, I follow after them. We're led up a staircase and towards the ER. Who's in the ER? What the fuck happened? A million questions rush through my head as I follow after them. The doctor stops in front of a room, and I press my hands against the window as I look inside.

My eyes first land on the heart monitor, which shows a flat line. My eyes quickly flicker over to the bed.

He's dead. He's dead. I feel my heart break for the first time in my life, I stare at him. I open the door to the room and rush over to his side. His eyes are open... They're looking right at me.

Expressionless and cold. "I'm sorry..." I whisper as tears begin to gush out of my eyes, streaking my face. I fall onto my knees, my shoulders shaking rapidly as I stare at the dead boy in front of me.

The little boy... Even dead, his eyes vibrate an undeniable hurt look. As if that's all he's felt his entire life. I notice the shards of glass pierced through the side of his face. Was there an accident?

I look up to Dylan and Luna who are inside as well. "Where's Adrian?" I ask them.

They don't answer. "Goddammit, tell me where Adrian is!!" I shout, springing onto my feet. "He's okay right?"

"He's in the ER," Dylan finally replies. "There was an accident. A truck slammed into the back of the car. The boy suffered the most impact..."

"It's all your damn fault," Anna growls, storming into the room. "If you hadn't left when you did, Adrian wouldn't have been overcome with guilt and would have paid attention to where he was driving. The boy would be alive, and Adrian would not be in the ER!"

"Anna!" Blake shouts angrily. "Shut up."

"Blake, I don't know what I'll do if something happens to Adrian. He's like my older brother, I don't know what I'll do if I lose another one," She sobs. Her face is streaked with make up, and her lipstick is smudged.

"No, she's right..." I start. "It's my fucking fault. I was selfish. I was thinking about myself."

I killed a little boy... and it's all because of my selfish desires. I'm worse than my dad. At least he didn't kill me. I've killed this little boy. I've sent Adrian to the ER. It's all my fucking fault.

"No, Bail, don't fucking say that," Luna says as she wraps her arms around my trembling body. "Wanting freedom isn't selfish."

"Yes it is! I was fine with Adrian. I was going to work, I was free to go to college. And I had Adrian with me... But I went and fucked it all up by pushing too far. And now I may never see Adrian again!" My face crumples up as I continue to sob.

I've stolen a future from this little boy. I've hurt my Adrian so badly. And all for my own future. I fucking don't deserve it.

"Bailey, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that," Anna starts, her face unmasked and incredibly apologetic.

"But you were right," I sob.

"I wasn't. I've never been more wrong in my entire life... Bailey, it wasn't your fault."

By now, I'm ugly crying. And I'm the ugliest crier you can meet. "Fuck, Anna, it is my fault. I've fucked up so badly, I should have just stayed in the mansion, but I wanted to go with Adrian. Then I lost my shit. I regret every word I fucking said, it's all my fault." Luna pats my back soothingly.

A nurse walks in, and clears her throat awkwardly. "Erm... are you with Adrian Romero?"

Who the fuck is Adrian Romero?

"Yes," Blake speaks up.

"Adrian... Romero?" I ask.

"It's so much easier when you have a non-hispanic last name. His words, not mine," Anna explains. That's horrible that you have to feel like your last name will stop you from doing things in life!

"He just got out of the ER and he's been put under 24-hour observation. You can see him after that's over."

"Is he okay?" I pipe up, my voice still quivering.

"I haven't been revealed any details about his condition yet, but if he's out of the ER, he's out of danger. I'm also going to have to say that we need to move the body of the child, so if you could please step out."

Complying, I reluctantly step out of the room glancing one last time at the boy's hurting eyes before the door closes behind me. And I completely and utterly break.

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I walk into the large mansion. Everyone left for their homes, but I left for Adrian's mansion. I don't know why. If I'm free to go wherever I want, then I'm free to come into his mansion as well.

It feels so empty. And there's only one person missing. I feel completely and utterly horrible for all I said and all I did. Everytime I close my eyes, I see the eyes of the boy. I remember the hurt in them, and it's all my fucking fault.

I stole his life from him. I'm no better than my dad... I'm worse. I've fucked up so badly, it's all my fucking fault. I was selfish and stubborn.

I hug myself, as I wipe away my tears. I'm quite sure I look like a drowned sewer rat.

The door bursts open and my heart nearly leaves my body. My head snaps towards the door, and I see Ava Arrow standing at the door. "Where's my Adrian?" She cries out in the most fake manner possible. "What did you do to him, you bitch?" She glares at him.

"Get the fuck out," I growl.

"This isn't your house, and neither is Adrian."

"Funny how I could literally say the same thing to you."

"Shut up! Where's my Adrian?"

"Not your Adrian, is in the hospital."

"I knew you would hurt him! My beautiful, gorgeous Adrian."

Get a grip, is she going to have an orgasm right here? I have better things to do, like going back to moping around.

"Adrian doesn't deserve you. He doesn't need you in his life, he needs me. All you'll do is hurt him," She snarls before storming out.

She's right. I did hurt him. He doesn't need me in his life... My eyes flicker towards a bottle of Vodka on the kitchen island.

That's what I need. I need to forget. I've already become worse than my father, this couldn't hurt. I need to forget.

Just a sip. 

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a/n: um, idk what to say, i'm sleep deprived. i want sleep. i just wanted to update before i suffer from school :) 

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