Stay With Me a While

Part 11

Stevie watched Lindsey setting everything up. They hadn't exchanged a single word yet, they both felt a thin layer of tension in the air. She noticed the concern across his face as her eyes followed him around, her one hand slowly combing through Sulamith's fur. Lindsey finally took a seat, but he was still fidgeting with this and that. Stevie sighed and got back up on her feet to approach him. He tensed up for a second at the feeling of her delicate hands on his shoulders, but then immediately relaxed.

Lindsey tilted his chin up, when Stevie moved to stand beside him, her one hand still on his shoulder, his arm wrapped around the back of her thighs. "What's up?"

He shrugged. "Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Stevie asked, reaching for another empty chair to sit down on. 

"Well, Kristen-"

"Linds, I can't expect you two to start acting differently just because I'm here. You're a married couple. It's fine." 

"The thing is..."  Lindsey sat back, crossing his legs, he shifted in his seat. "We don't really, you know... are like that, when you're not here."

Should she ask or was it better left unsaid? "You can talk to me if you need to, Lindsey. Always, you know that."

He mustered a weak smile and gave a nod of his head. "I'm glad to hear you say that. Sometimes, I'm not really sure if I can, though. You're usually so guarded, when we're around each other. I'm afraid to say the wrong word, take a step in the wrong direction."

Sighing, Stevie inched herself closer to him, she lay a hand on his knee. "I have to be. Linds, I'm the one, who's left with a broken heart if I let you get too close. And just being friendly is difficult, too, because I get to see a side of you that I love so much and I long for, but eventually, I do go back in time and I allow certain feelings to resurface. It hurts." She shrugged, picking up Sulamith, who was asking for her attention. 

"It's not easy for me either." Lindsey shook his head. "I know that even when I think about it, it's wrong. I'm a husband to another woman, but I can't help letting my mind wander from time to time. I do feel guilty no matter what people think. I cherish our moments on stage, because you can't escape me. I get a chance to get close to you, knowing that you're not going to push me away in front of thousands of people. And I do realize that I'm hurting you, but I... I can't stop. Telling you that you look beautiful, that makes me feel guilty. I don't even have to touch you to feel like shit. We've drawn so many lines over the years, but we've crossed them all, because I need you, Steph, I just do. You're... you're my person."

Instead of replying, Stevie stood up and took a step forward to give him a hug. Lindsey hugged her back, while still seated at first, but he got up, too, and held her closer. "Please, don't ever think that you can't reach out to me."

Lindsey drew back and cradled her face in the palms of his hands. He wanted to kiss her, properly, but he pressed his lips to her cheek, catching the corner of her mouth. "I'm happy that we're trying out this new honesty thing."

Stevie laughed lightly and nodded. "We should have tried it ages ago."

"I hate to break this up, but we do have actual work to get to." Lindsey sighed, pulling back fully away from her.

"Yes, we do." She agreed with a soft smile on her face. "Do you have the lyrics? Because if you think that I remember a single word, I do not."

Looking through his things, Lindsey pulled out a sheet and handed it to Stevie. "The internet is a wonderful place, Steph."

She rolled her eyes and started looking over her own words, she had written a long time ago. She'd be lying if she said, she wasn't worried at all. A recording session with Lindsey could go extremely wrong in a matter of seconds.