06 | Just an expensive load

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               "Wanna feel alive, outside I can't find my fears Isn't it lovely all alone? Heart made of glass, my mind of stone Tear me to pieces skin and bone "
                                                        ~ lovely (Billie Eilish & Khalid)

                       ~ Ellora's outfit for the 'special occasion' ~

                       ~ Ellora's outfit for the 'special occasion' ~

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E L L O R A

Thursday afternoon.

I stand infront of the mirror, glaring at myself.
A pair of amber eyes glares back at me.

I am dressed in my usual outfit. A milky white, printed spaghetti dress, moss green sweater to keep away the cold and everyday socks and shoes. Well, nothing special.

"You. Are. Not. Wearing. This. "

I don't bother to turn around. Instead just shift my gaze sideways on the mirror. Ethan is spread on his stomach, on my bed with his phone. He is staring at me with a smug look, noticing me for the first time since I dressed up.

I give him a look through the mirror. "I am." I say shortly before turning to look back at my refelction.

I have been staring at my reflection for the last half an hour or so. Somehow just staring at myself is soothing my nerves which are wrecking a havoc inside me. The man is supposed to come within minutes.

And I don't know how to feel.

I am completely void of emotions, when right now I am supposed to feel angry, angry at the universe for risking my future, my dreams. Heck, I don't even have my graduation degree yet.

Marraige was not even supposed to be an option.

Except now, marraige is the only option.

I was never rich. But money wasn't a problem until papa was diagonised with leukemia. And taking a degree, especially in subject like Physics, from a worldwide famous University requires money. Lots of money. To plus this, I am not an only child. And mum is just a mere librarian. So now, I need someone to pay for my studies.
I guess, you already get the picture.

To put it simply, right now I have two options.
One,to give up Uni and probably higher studies altogether and get a job somewhere, violating all my dreams.

And Two, I have to get married to someone who will agree to pay for my studies.

Mum says he is a good man and has agreed to pay for my university and studies in future as well. She has refused to tell me his name or anything about him, except the fact that he is a man of science. According to her, this fact is supposed to make up for everything else.

Like Heck it does.

That night, I was actually ready to talk mum out of this ridiculous notion of getting me married. But after she explained with a one hour long lecture, I couldn't say anything. Her reasons just made too much sense for me to ignore her.....

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