The Life and Death of Girl Unknown (UNDER REVISION AND EDITING)

Chapter 39: Child of Insanity and Light.

Chapter 39: Child of Insanity and Light.

"Fucking shit, man!" I exclaimed as I paced the private room, clutching at Juice's hand. My face was dampened by a mixture of sweat and tears. My blonde hair stuck to the back of my neck and the sides of my face. If anyone asks me; this is by far the most painful labor I've gone through. My entire body ached, those cramps I felt were now a tight squeezing inside of me and that dull back pain was now a pounding feeling that radiated from my back to my stomach. It felt like someone was stabbing me in the cervix with a hot knife. About three hours ago I started having the urges to push but Doctor Smit told me I was dilated enough to be able to push. But my God, I wanted to so bad.

Juice came home to see me squatting at the side of the bed with my arms cradled around my belly. He said he'd be five minutes, but it was closer to ten minutes. What if I had the baby in those ten minutes that it took him to get home? A lot of complications can happen in less than five minutes.

"You're doing just fine, Maria." Juice encouraged me with a lighthearted tone. I unlocked my jaw and looked up at him through my sweaty hair. I was probably giving him the death glare. I was tired and annoyed. I didn't actually mean to give him the death glare but at the same time I did.

"I'm not doing anything, that's the thing!" I ended up shouting at him frustrated. I was frustrated because our insurance didn't cover us at this hospital and that's going to be a pricey bill for us. And I have no control over how long labor and delivery takes. I have no control of the fact that the room that my insurance was supposed to pay for costs $10,353.00 and the nursery is another $7,275.00. I am praying that the insurance company can at least pay for some of the expenses.

"Maria, it's okay." Juice was trying his hardest to make me feel better but I couldn't feel better right now, I'm in the worst labor pains I've ever experienced and now I have to worry about the bill I need to pay. My mind was hazily adding up the total to about $35,780.36 for all the services just to delivery a baby.

"No Juice! It's not okay. I'm in so much pain and I just really want Gemma to be here because she's been through this before, and no offense but you aren't doing well with making sure I'm comfortable. And I'm really wishing we decided to have a home birth instead." My entire body tensed up when another wave of contractions rolled over me.

"Do you want the pain medication?" He asked, seven years and he still doesn't know what the name of the pain medication is. Epidural, Juice! It's an epidural! I shook my head at him, heavily breathing out to exhale the intense contraction.

"No. I was able to birth naturally with the boys. I'm not going to drug my child so I'm comfortable." I insisted that I can and will be able to undergo labor and delivery without the epidural injection. But I must say; Beau is the longest I've ever been in labor for. With Percy labor was an hour and thirty seconds of pushing. With Daylon it was ten minutes combining labor and delivery. But with Beau I've been in labor for eighteen hours and who knows how long delivery will be.

I sat down on the edge of the bed, Juice sat down beside me. He rubbed my lower back and hummed a small song. But I was exhausted and I've been in labor since late this morning, it's really late at night now. I'm hoping that she decides to be here soon.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey. You never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away. The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping, I dreamt I held you in my arms. When I awoke, dear, I was mistaken. So I hung my head, and I cried. You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey. You never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away. I'll always love you and make you happy. If you will only say the same. But if you leave me to love another, You'll regret it all one day. You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey. You never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away. Please don't take my sunshine away." Juice sang to me in a small voice that resembled Percy's in an innocent and childish way. Beau must've spasmed since she kicked me in the bottom of my ribs painfully. It was like when he sang that song, she remembered it. I sang it to her a lot throughout my pregnancy but she'd be completely mellowed out but when Juice sang it, she freaked out. She remembered his voice singing it to me that day when he was arrested.

I managed a small smile when I looked down at my belly; Juice had laid one of his hands over it while the other one rubbed my lower back. I placed my left hand over his right hand, the engagement ring was still wrapped around my finger. Juice was pleasantly surprised when he noticed I was still wearing the ring even after all the shit that's happened lately. I told him that he was the only man I wanted my kids calling daddy, and I couldn't love another man like I love him.

"Knock knock." Both Juice and I whipped our heads in the direction of the door. A red haired lady stood in the doorway wearing a white coat with scrubs on underneath. I was relieved that it was our OB/GYN but I also was preparing myself to be told that her head hasn't dropped and my cervix weren't dilated enough.

Juice helped me kick my feet back up onto the bed. I was used to having my legs open for everyone by now. Doctor Smit pulled on a pair of purple latex gloves while the team of nurses stood by in case it was time to go through with delivery.

"How are you feeling? Any more urges to push?" She asked the routine questions. I sighed heavily while Juice stroked my hair kindly. I tried to focus on the repeated soothing strokes but the contraction was done and now I was left with the feeling that I needed to push. This feeling was bigger and louder than before.

"I'm exhausted. I just want her to come out already." I winced when I felt the slight pressure on my rectal area. Doctor Smit was checking how dilated my cervix was. As quickly as that pressures came, it left equally as fast. Doctor Smit smiled up at me with a glowing look in her eyes.

"Well, you can start counting down the minutes until she's here. You're fully dilated and ready for delivery." Doctor Smit announced happily. A large wave of relief crashed over me overwhelmingly. I threw my head back against the pillow with a sigh that fell from a relieved smile. Juice was smiling like an idiot while he stroked my hair. The last time I saw him smile like that was when I told him he was getting a daughter. He asked what the gender was a week after we moved here so I told him. I've never seen a person get so happy to finally get a little girl. That's when he asked what her name was and refused to let it be just that; so her name is Beau Rhea Carly Ortiz.

The team of nurses helped Doctor Smit get gowned up and scrubbed down before they got the medical supplies ready. Juice helped a nurse hold one of my legs open with one hand while the other was being tightly grasped in mine. We were both sweating so it only made me grip his hand tighter. My knuckles were white and he fingers were going blue. Then I was told to push and everything kinda faded into the background. It was like this was the only moment I was in complete control of my body even though it felt like I wasn't actually in my body. I felt like I was floating but there was a small but unwavering pressure in my rectal area that kept me anchored down. I was thrusted back into reality when that pressure was let go.

I hadn't realized that I closed my eyes until I opened them, at first I saw Juice; his face was pale and he had tears making vast rivers down his face. He was looking at something in front of us. My eyes then panned over to see a small human being lying on my chest. This small human being had darker skin but it was more pink than anything, they had a head full of dark hair that matched their eyes. That small human being was crying their lungs out.

As quickly as she came she was gone. Juice leaned down and kisses my lips when I turned to look up at him. Juice cried at the births of the boys and now he's crying at the birth of his daughter.

While Beau was getting cleaned up and warmed up, I was getting cleaned up and the sheets were being changed. Beau stopped crying soon after she was born but it was nice to know she had healthy lungs. Juice melted into a puddle of joy when she was placed into his arms for the first time. This last year has been nothing but insanity, but the outcome is the most beautiful creation any higher power can create.