The Life and Death of Girl Unknown (UNDER REVISION AND EDITING)

Chapter 1: Home Sweet Home

Chapter 1: Home Sweet Home.

There is serenity in the air. It crawls up your body and seeps into every pore. It's something I've longed to feel. I enjoy every moment of silent bliss. I don't get it often so I enjoy it when I get it. I'm not saying I don't enjoy some of the chaos that life holds for me, because I enjoy it just as much as I enjoy the silence. I enjoy what family looks like and feels like. It's still so new and unknown to me but I enjoy every single moment of it. Lately though, I've enjoyed the quiet and calm a bit more than I usually do.

Juice must've left early this morning to go to the clubhouse to get some extra hours in. So that left me at home with Percy and Daylon. Percy was out cold in mine and Juice's bed while Daylon soundly slept in his crib. I was sitting at the typewriter that Juice got me for my birthday last year. I wanted to write but I didn't know what to write. I knew I wanted to write something for my boys but I didn't know what. There have been a few things knocking around my head these past couple weeks, since Daylon was born. Daylon's birth brought some truth to the forefront of my mind. Any day could be the last day I have with Juice or even alive. Percy and Daylon will one day be without me and Juice. I wanted them to know the truth behind their lives and our lives. I wanted them to know about the club as it falls to ashes on the ground around our feet.

I sighed softly and curled my aching figures away from the typewriter keys. I longed to write something on this thing but I've wanted something worth writing to use this thing. The moment something popped into my head; something worth writing on this special and dear gift, I let my fingers do all the talking.

We all make mistakes in life, you make mistakes, your father makes mistakes, and I make mistakes. I know I've made more than a lifetime worth of mistakes in my short twenty-five years of life. But there is a lesson to be learned in mistakes, it is not to repeat them but to acknowledge the ugly truth that rests inside your soul so you can nurture it and care for it like an infant until it's turned into something you're proud of because it is a part of who you are.

I was unplugged from the place I go when I write when I heard the loud roar of the Harley motorcycle outside. A subconscious smile crossed my face as I got up from the desk chair in the office down the hall to see Percy was awake and quietly watching cartoons, well now he was watching is dad out the window. Somehow he snuck past me on his way from our bedroom to the living room. That boy is as quiet as his father, that's not a good thing either.

Juan came into the house, wearing his vest with the SOA logo on the back and badges on the front and side. He wore a dirty white tee shirt and jeans with his work boots. The look he was wearing on his face made my stomach drop into a black hole. I knew that look all too well. He looked homesick but more than eager to get out on the road to do whatever it is that needs to be done.

I frowned at him and sank into my shoulders as I got up from the desk chair to go greet him by wrapping my arms around his neck lazily and staring into his coffee bean colour eyes.

"Where are you guys going this time?" I asked quietly, knowing Percy hates it when Juan leaves for "business" purposes. Juan shook his head and sighed heavily. He looked absolutely exhausted but at the same time excited for the thrill this run will give him. Juice is an addict. He's addicted to this life but I don't blame him.

"Nevada. The Irishmen have a shipment worth a couple hundred K but they can't come into Charming because of their outstanding warrants so,"

"You need to go and get the shipment to keep your seller." I knew how this game worked, I didn't like it but I knew how it worked. Juice nodded with a frown but I knew he wasn't too broken up about it because he loved the club, he loved the thrill. Being father is too vanilla for him; he's always breaking the law and getting away with it. I glad he gets away with it. The one time he went to prison he was almost raped, beaten up, and shanked in the back. I had to take care of Percy alone and it wasn't easy but luckily I had Gemma to help. She said she'd only help me if she was called Grandma by Percy, now Daylon.

"How long this time?" I asked in a small whimper that made me sound childish. Juice sighed again and looked at me with a small frown as his eyes stayed glued down on mine. He pursed his lips and glanced over at Percy, who was waiting patiently for his dad to come greet him.

"Just for the weekend." I growled at his reply, he knew that Percy was dying to go to the beach with his dad this weekend and now those plans are gone. I had to sit down and talk to Percy about his dad's job and how important it is to the club. But something else crossed my mind, the guys always cheat on their old ladies, I know Juice has in the past but I always remind him why he stays. Before it was because of the sex but now it's the boys, they need a father in their lives. I play mommy and daddy a lot of the time; I don't need to play the part all the time. But after Daylon was born a few weeks ago I've declared Juice mine and if any other woman tried to hit on him I'd show them to back the fuck off. Besides; it's not like I can threaten to go to my parents' houses. My mom is in prison and my dad is God knows where. I don't think anyone from my life before Juice would want to see me anyways.

"Okay but remember if I find out you're fucking a skank, I'll kill you both." I smiled up at him. He laughed before kissing me sweetly. I could hear Percy on the couch becoming impatient with his dad. That little boy has been a little bit neglected by the both of us for the last couple of weeks because of the new baby but Juice promised that on one of his days off he'd take us all to the beach so he could spend some quality time with his big man. Juice pulled away and smiled down at me.

"When are you leaving?" I questions tenderly, drawing my eyebrows together curiously. Juice smiled down at me widely, his eyes beamed with joy.

"We're not hitting the road until late tonight." I was glad the kids would already be asleep when he leaves. There's nothing worse than having to deal with a sad and grumpy 6 year-old who just wants to hang out with his dad.

"–So I thought in the mean time we could go to the beach." Juice's voice got loud enough so Percy could hear him. The lookalike boy bounced with joy as his dad left my side and went to greet him. While Percy and Juice swooned over the ideas of what to do at the beach I went to get Daylon from the nursery where he was lying in his crib half conscious. Percy and Daylon look just like their father and that always makes me smile. They have his dark hair and matching coffee bean eyes. When I was pregnant with Percy, Juice used to say they'd look like me instead of him because I was blonde haired and blue eyed, that's a dominant gene but the Puerto Rican side seemed to be the more dominant genes with our kids. Juice is already asking for a little girl, we just had Daylon 4 weeks ago. We don't need to be thinking about babies for a while now.

I plucked him up and went back down the long hallway to the living room where Juice and Percy were. Something Juice said to Percy had the little boy jumping like a Mexican jumping bean. Percy's big brown eyes were large ovals now with an even larger smile.

"Mama, dad is gonna take me out on his bike." Percy exclaimed happily. I cringed at the thought of Juice taking Percy out on the bike. That's exactly what my dad must've felt or thought when I introduced him to Juice and Juice took me out on his bike for the first time. But I was 17 when I went on a motorcycle for the first time, Percy is 6. God, I remember that day very clearly. My dad was pissed when he saw me riding on the back of Juice's Harley.

Juice must've sensed my unease since his smile faded into a serious but light expression and he tilted his head up at me curiously like a lost puppy.

"It'll be once around the block then back." He tried to win me over but I wasn't convinced at all. I cradled Daylon into my chest and frowned lightly.

"Fine but if anything happens to my baby, your balls are mine." Juice and Percy took that as a sign of good nature. Juice went to get Percy dressed and geared up while I made Daylon a bottle. This may not be the dream life I dreamed up when I was 12 but it's home sweet home.

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REVISED & EDITED APRIL 20, 2017