The Life and Death of Girl Unknown (UNDER REVISION AND EDITING)

Chapter 31: Deadlines.

Chapter 31: Deadlines.

When I got home I called Jax and told him, he was pissed that I went without backup and that I murdered the now ex-President of the Mayans in cold blood, and left witnesses. But I told him the message was sent not to mess with the club and now it'll be only minor threats and harassment. He sent Chibs to stay the night in case something happened. Jax was paranoid and that made me paranoid. But Gemma assured me that nothing bad was going to happen. I could do nothing but sit back and wait for the outcome of this to happen. Percy and Daylon were happy Grampa spent the night, they haven't seen him since the Percy's birthday party. He missed the boys and the boys missed him, it was nice to see Percy smiling and laughing like he used too.

But it was the moment when I caught him trying on Juice's vest that I realized I was driving him directly into the arms of the club. I took away his toy guns and knives, and the vest. I didn't want him apart of any violence that comes with being apart of this family. I was doing exactly what Juice and I swore we'd never do. It made me feel like a failure as a mother and a partner.

Chibs saw how distraught I was about it, he and I spent most of the night reminiscing about how we first met and everything in our pasts. Chibs didn't know exactly what my past was so I told him that when I was 4 Jimmy got signed by a record label. I came out and told him what it was like only living with my Grandparents and at times Jimmy. At the age of 6 one of Jimmy's friends molested me and when I told someone they didn't believe me. Jimmy regained custody of me in 2004, when I was 9. At the age of 10 I stopped seeing my mom in prison. At 12 I lost my virginity to a guy who was 24. By 14 I was regularly hanging around the biker bars or getting into mischief with my friends. Then at 16 I was raped by someone I didn't know and a month later I had my first abortion. By the time I met Juice I had 2 abortions. Juice never knew this but at the time I met him and left to come to Charming I was pregnant and didn't find out until 4 months before my 18th birthday. I told Gemma and she took me to the clinic, you can guess what happened after that. I don't know why I told Chibs all of this but it made me feel better to get it out. He understood entirely that it's been a tough couple of months for me and my kids and I just needed to vent it all out. I appreciated that greatly.

Jax took the boys to the park with Tara and Gemma said we had this store to go to, it apparently had the nicest maternity clothes on sale. I didn't know what was wrong with my jeans and tee shirt but according to Gemma I had to have some nice clothes to add to my pregnant glow. I didn't want to say no because I didn't want to be alone at the house again. I can't be alone, my head gets so loud with horrible thoughts. I need to take a break and reconnect with the people I've grown very fond of over the years.

Gemma's black car pulled into the driveway, I stood at the living room window and watched her before meeting her at the door. I wasn't dressed yet but I had my makeup done. I forced a smile at Gemma as she came into the overly quiet house.

"You're not dressed yet?" She made the obvious observation with a stern expression. I looked at my pajamas and shrugged effortlessly.

"Its takes me all of five minutes to get dressed. Chill out." I cheekily remarked with a smug smirk. Gemma hummed a growling sigh at me and made herself at home by beginning to pick up the boys' toys while I waddled like a penguin to the bedroom where I picked up a pair of jeans off the floor where I took them off last night and tossed on a plain blue tee shirt.

"A tee shirt and jeans, really?" Gemma criticized my outfit the moment I stepped into her line of sight. I grumbled a sigh and cocked my head to the side as if telling her I was tired of her bullshit.

"What's wrong with a tee shirt and jeans?" I asked annoyed. I find that I get really annoyed now I'm pregnant. I've never been this annoyed when I've been pregnant before, it must be a having a female baby thing. Ironically, I'm annoyed that I get annoyed so easily. It's a horrible cycle that never ends.