The Life and Death of Girl Unknown (UNDER REVISION AND EDITING)

Chapter 3: Something Bad

I'm not sure how long I'd been asleep, it was late; or early, however you wanted to look at it. I still hugged Juice into my body and held his hand but the nightstand light had been shut off. The room was now dark and cool. My heart ached when I could hear Juice's voice whimpering softly into the darkness like he was talking to a ghost of the past.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey. You'll never know dear; how much I love you. So please don't take my sunshine away."

Truth will ultimately prevail where there is pains to bring it to light. The scary question is: what is the truth going to be when pain brings light to it?

I don't remember falling back to sleep last night but I do remember slipping out of the coma to the sound of something familiar. I couldn't help the smile that crossed my face when I realized that Juice was in the kitchen with Percy, and if Juice has Percy, he'll have Daylon too. I could hear Percy talking to Juice about proper typing skills on the computer keyboard. Percy is learning how to use the computer at School and he's over the moon about that because it means he gets a better opportunity to impress his dad. I told Juice to praise Percy and show him how proud he is of how well he's doing in School.

I sighed to myself and rubbed my face tiredly. I knew I had to roll out of bed to begin the day; I couldn't just neglect my duties as a mom just because Juice is home. I was glad Juice got Percy up for School before he left for the clubhouse. It's not often that Juice helps me in the morning with Percy, so when he does stay at home during the mornings, I use him to my full advantage. I find it very annoying when people praise the fathers for looking after the kids or doing housework but in the same heartbeat expect the mothers do it without a complaint and without a reward. Juice is a parent, like me; he isn't a part time babysitter or maid. He is expected to help raise our kids and maintain the upkeep of the house; just like I'm expected to do all that.

I wrapped my fluffy bathrobe around me after rolling off the side of the bed. I could hear Percy talking to his dad about School and his friends. It made me smile, from this side of the door it sounded like every other father-son conversation but the moment I step into the hallway I'll be faced with my reality; the reality that everyday I'm left wondering if the father of my children and the love of my life is going to be wounded, dying, or dead at the end of the day. I'm left worrying if Juice has rubbed too much off on Percy and Daylon, Percy mainly. I'm left sitting by the phone and door waiting for a sign that something has happened to my family. My life isn't glamorous or dazzling; it's a dark and grim place. But it has its moments of pure happiness and joy, moments where no darkness can touch it. I don't blame Juice for any of this, I've never blamed him and I'll never blame him for any of the events that have happened, are happening or are going to happen; he was in the club long before we met. But I wish he'd help out more here because it feels like I'm a single parent. I feel like I'm all alone in this. I'll never tell Juice that though. It's the biggest guilt trip; I'm basically making him choose; the club or me.

But I forcefully smiled widely when I opened the bedroom door and proceeded down that hallway to the kitchen where Percy was sitting at the dining room table while Juice was at the counter preparing breakfast. Juice had gotten Percy ready for School today that made me smile softly. I couldn't help but feel at home seeing all three of my boys together, Percy was smiling at the drawing he had on the dinner table as he waited for the School bus to arrive, Daylon was fast asleep in his swing, and Juice, he was smiling and beaming at Percy's bouncing conversation as if none of what happened last night affected him in the slightest, but the moment he looked up and saw me standing in the doorway, his smile vanished. He looked like that man who I saw come into the house last night with ashy complexion and scared eyes with a gloss of sweat blanketing his face. It was as if whatever was haunting him was in me. Maybe I was the one who haunted him.