Worthwhile (A Jonah Marais Fanfiction)

Chapter 26

It was past midnight and I was out of the tour bus playing basketball all by myself. Everyone was asleep on the tour bus and I am pretty sure that they couldn't hear me play. I couldn't sleep. I haven't been able to sleep since the past one week.

Not since I stopped talking to Winter.

I dribbled the ball as I thought about her, getting ready to shoot it through the hoop. I missed her terribly but this was necessary. I mean why would she ever want to date a guy like me? There are loads of options out there. Guys more famous and good-looking than me. Here, I was dreaming about the days when I could hold her hand and kiss her.

I shot the ball and it went right through the hoop. I caught the ball and went for it again. I did it over and over again as her grey eyes clouded my brain and her laugh rang in my ears. The process was a repeat. Dribble, jump and shoot. I did it till my legs gave out and I fell onto the ground panting.

"Fuck!" I muttered, running my hands through my hair in utter agony.

"Jonah?"

I turned around to see Jack standing with his arms crossed, staring at me. He sat down beside me and hugged his knees, "Are you gonna talk to me about what is wrong with you?"

"I'm absolutely fine." I answered, not looking at him.

"Okay." He shrugged.

I expected him to force me into talking. That's better, I guess.

"I happened to speak to Winter today. She did say that she was doing amazing but her voice and eyes denied it." He started.

Out of pure instinct and worry, I asked, "Is she okay?"

"I don't know. She was asking about you." He answered. "Haven't you been talking to her?"

I stayed silent, not wanting to lie to my best friend.

"Well, she is a tough nut to crack. She doesn't talk about how she's feeling or what is going through her head easily. Too selfless for her own good. Gabbie met her today and she was telling me about how excited she was when she heard that Gabs was pregnant." He continued. "She sent me a video. See it."

I watched it from the corner of my eyes and a smile crept onto my face as I saw her react. The look on her face was priceless.

"Jo, don't do whatever you're doing." Jack sighed, as he turned his phone off.

I stared at the ground not knowing what to say.

"You think we can't tell that you two aren't talking? She doesn't say anything. You know that very well. She'll rather bottle up her pain than hurt someone or talk about it and waste their time."

He shook his head as he continued, "don't even think that she spoke about this to any of us. We realised it the same day you stopped talking because you didn't sleep, eat and weren't putting your all into singing like you usually do. You keep looking at your lock screen like the only thing you want to do is hug her..."

"Jack, I never intended to do it." I cut him off and turned on my phone, gazing at my lock screen. She was just laughing at me while I smiled. My hand around her neck, holding her closer. I closed my eyes, picturing her laugh and smile.

"Then why are you doing it? You very well know that she has so many mental health problems. Her anxiety shoots up at the smallest of things. She can't even handle people looking at her. Now, when finally she's learning to breathe, why the fuck are you taking away her newfound freedom?"

"I didn't want to do it!" I snapped. I hid my face in my hands and continued, "Do you even know how famous she is? Every song she releases tops every music chart there is. She plays arenas and her best friends are Taylor and Selena. She has fucking 40 million followers on Instagram! Why would she want to date someone like me who hasn't been able to even touch the top?!"