- Stepbrother | [ KRIIZY ]

[1:12]

"Took you long enough." John chuckled. Jaren could only stare he hadn't seen the male all day and when he was ready to, he makes him leave by himself. And now here he is grinning like an idiot while Jaren felt a swirl of emotions course through him.

Jaren crawled closer to John on the slightly flat roof. "Remember the first time we came to an agreement here? The time you trusted me with everything and I the same." John smiled, Jaren sat beside John and only stared at the sunsetting sky. While the other only stared at his doll before doing the same. "We also had our first kiss here." John added.

"That night changed a lot of things with us, but ensured so many regrets." The older stared down at his legs, neck growing tired of staring at the beautiful scenery. Jaren finally looked over at John, now that he was in front of him he didn't know what to say. At first he was angry but being in front of him, Jaren could never honestly feel mad at him. He was more upset?

Was he disappointed? Jaren's mind created vague scenarios and theories as to what he felt. He didn't like the feeling though, of not knowing what to feel. Especially around John. "Why?" Jaren muttered absentmindedly. "Why did you stay and why did you not try to leave with me?" He turned to John in a flash, solemn pouring from his tone and eyebrows loosely turned up.

John noticed the quiver in his lips and wanted nothing more than to kiss it away. But he couldn't. Why couldn't he? "Jaren," that was the first time John had actually said his name. It sent shivers down the younger males spine, not making his weary heart any better. "I'm my dad's son. What if- What if I become like him one day and hurt you? I'm not enough. I wasn't even enough for my mom to stay Jaren, what if I-"

"Stop." Jaren intervened, shaking his head at John's words. John was different. "You're different. Everything you've done was for me, you've helped me in every way possible and there's nothing I've done for you. This entire thing has been about me and John you were the one to succeed it for me. It was my task, not yours. I can't even say I aided you in helping."

"If you were truly your fathers son you would had gave up. You would've left me and fucked some other broad. You wouldn't have done all that you can to assure my happiness." By this point Jaren was crying. Clear tears rolling down his face in what felt like slow motion. "You wouldn't have said you loved me if you didn't mean it. Everything you've done h-has been for me!"

John bit his bottom lip and turned away. "I was just being a g-"

"No you weren't! You did it because you loved me, because you wanted me away from a monster even when you thought the monster was yourself. John you never hurt me, even when we disagreed you tried to take my side and whatever I wanted you did." Jaren chuckled humorlessly. "Why can't you see that?"

The younger was losing his mind and his heart ached. "What has gotten into you? A-Are you bored of me?" Jaren muttered, scared of his own words but feared the answer even more.

John was first to make a movement. Shaking his head and bringing his arms up to Jaren's shoulders. Though he didn't touch him, only clenching his hands and pulling them back. "D- Jaren, I can't."

That pushed a button, not only one but ten. A flame ignited in Jaren's eyes. "Why not!" He shouted. "Right now you're acting like your father, the one you oh so claim to not wanna be like towards me. You're being selfish and cowardice, scared of your own self instead of showing that you can do something about it." Jaren retorted lividly.

John only held his head down because even now he couldn't find it in himself to snap back at Jaren. "That's not-"

"It is." Jaren laughed. "If you truly cared and wanted what's best for me you would try your hardest to be the man who can do that, instead of relying on someone else!"

The older said nothing more. What's the point? Jaren was right. He feared change, what if in the process he became something he wasn't while trying so hard to be something he wanted to be. Jaren was safe, he was okay. That's all that mattered.

But was he okay? Jaren stared at John, noticing the man not bothering to even lift his head and take Jaren on. "You're mother would be very disappointed." Jaren chuckled humorlessly before preparing to climb back into the room.

"What do you know about my mother?!" John growled. "You didn't even know her!" He snapped, grabbing Jaren's arm and not letting it go. The younger glared, snatching his arm away but the hold John had was too tight.

"Seems to me I know your mother more than you do right now. You think she wanted you to stay with him? If she knew how he was, what made her think she'd want her son to stay with him for the rest of his life." Jaren successfully snatched his arm away and spoke words he felt he knew were true. Words he wanted John to understand. "Maybe the reason your mother did what she did was because she wanted change? That one thing you're so damned afraid of!"

Jaren crawled the rest of his ways back to the roof, leaving a deflated and confused John. There was nothing more he could say to change his mind. Maybe love was stupid. Maybe it was just a fake feeling caused by the human's want for a way to end loneliness. Everything John has done, was it because he loved Jaren or because he wanted his monster of a father to lose everything.

Even now he's unsure, but the things he shared with Jaren weren't fake. The years he wanted to spend with him were indeed real. His mind conflicted into thinking it was all just a fantasy. John looked up at the sky, darkness consuming the pretty tangerine and the stars become more and more visible.

"Mom, I could really use that sign right now."

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