On the Run [a.i. au]

26. Don't Judge Me

Thalia's POV

"I was the leader of Stone Skull."

The words seem to echo in my brain like the sound of nails on a chalkboard. As time passes, the thought doesn't leave my mind. All I can picture is Ashton doing inhuman things that I told myself he wasn't capable of doing.

My hands leave Luke and Ashton and find their way to my temples. I stare down at my legs, the crisp gown I've had to wear since I was admitted because of what Alex did to Luke and me. My heart begins to beat faster as I try to find something to say, but words don't come to mind.

Ashton led this group. He organized drug sales, smuggling, and raped and killed so many people in Australia. How am I supposed to look at him the same again after hearing this straight from the horse's mouth?

My hands cover my face as I feel tears springing to my eyes. I've never been in such a place of turmoil in my life. What am I supposed to say to him? I can't act as if it never happened and that it's in the past, but I can't allow him to beat himself up for it for the rest of his life.

I hear a door open slowly in the midst of my mental breakdown. "Irwin, you're coming with me," a gruff voice says. I can feel Ashton's eyes on me, but I can't look at him. Not right now.

The door latches again, and a high-pitched noise escapes from my throat. If I have to show what I'm feeling to anyone, now is the time because Ashton is being interrogated by the police.

My eyes squeeze tighter as my chest begins to ache. The police! Will this come back to haunt him someday? Will they find evidence, or will someone like Alex expose him and send him to prison for the rest of his life?

"Are you alright, Thalia?" Calum asks, resting a hand on my back. I can't help but shrug him off me, given the circumstances and my past experiences with him.

I raise my head and, to my surprise, I'm face-to-face with him. His dark eyes are filled with concern, but to me, it doesn't matter. Nothing matters to me right now, except the fact that Ashton isn't the person I loved, or the person I believed he was.

My mouth opens to talk, but all that comes out is a small croak. Then, a sob. Suddenly, I'm in hysterics in Calum's arms, while I feel Luke's fingers stroking the hair behind my left ear. I feel so lost, conflicted, and honestly, betrayed. How could he not have told me before now, when it could get him sent to prison?

"He told you about Stone Skull, didn't he?" Calum mumbled. I nod as the sobs start to become louder, but I can still hear him sigh. How did I become involved with these people? Why did I do it?

Maybe my mother was right. Maybe Calum and Ashton are criminals. Perhaps it's time that I let them go and let the police and court system do what they will with them. After months with a murderer and the man who impregnated me, I should want them to rot in prison.

However, as Calum's arms hold me, I can't bring myself to completely feel that way. They've changed my life, and not completely negatively. They've shown me what it's like to have to fend for myself and fight for my life. They've shown me that I was a fighter all along.

"I don't know what to do," I cry as I wriggle myself out of Calum's arms. My head is throbbing as I do so, which doesn't help my attempt at making a decision. "I can't forgive you two for so many things. You two have killed people, and you, Calum, you got me pregnant."

Calum falls backwards, his behind falling flat on the floor. I realize what I've said too late, and I suddenly wish I could take it back as I see Luke sit up from my peripheral. No one ever needed to know about this. I never wanted anyone to know about it.