FORCE | topper thornton

SEVEN

a/n there are mentions of suicide in this please do not read if it will trigger you

"Oh my god, congratulations!" Kie gave Logan a hug when she heard the news, she had only met Zoe once but based off what I said she didn't really care for her either. "Where is the lucky lady?" I asked, looking towards his parked car, she wasn't in there, "she doesn't feel good, she's still at the hotel." I rolled my eyes at his answer, "she's hungover." I said under my breath, "ow!" I yelped when Kie slapped my arm, I looked to Logan who was giving me a glare. "Can't you at least try to be happy for me?" He quipped, shaking his head before walking away, I sighed pinching the bridge of my nose. "I fucked up didn't I?" I looked to Kie, she nodded, "I think so." it's hypocritical honestly, because if he didn't like Topper I know he'd be vocal about it but I'm not allowed to be vocal about him and Zoe. They've been together barely over a year, and half the time he calls me he's complaining about some big fight they got into. "Don't look now, but Matthews coming by." Kie spoke focusing her attention on the sand between her toes, of course he is, because why not. I followed her actions, the sand was suddenly very interesting, I glanced over as he walked by, a girls feet along side his. I gasped, that tattoo, I've seen that tattoo. "Zoe!" I snapped my head up, she froze, Matthew stopping along side her, I looked to her hand, she even took the ring off, that bitch. "Kenz, hey!" She smiled giving me a pleading look, Kie stood beside me equally as pissed. "Don't 'Kenz' me, what the hell are you doing? I thought you were at the hotel, waiting for Logan." I accused, giving her a pointed look. "Wait, your dating Logan Holmes?" Matthew looked at her, dropping her hand, "they're engaged!" I shouted. "How old did you tell her you were?" I added, looking at Matthew, "he's twenty." Zoe answered with a smirk, has she really not figured out that I know this idiot. "He's seventeen!" Kie and I shouted in unison. Zoe scoffed, "yeah right." She rolled her eyes.

Logan cleared his throat from behind them, "actually yeah he is, he's the idiot that broke Kenzie's heart." Logan snapped, his arms crossed as he looked at Zoe, it's like everything fell into place at once for her, "baby, no, come on it was an accident!" She begged grabbing onto Logan's arm. "An accident, then where's your ring?" I snapped, Logan's eyes shot down to her left hand, no ring, he grew tense. "I should've listened to my family, we're done." Logan whispered, fighting back a few tears, he's hurt and that hurts me. "I'm sorry, Logan." I wrapped my arms around his neck, holding him tightly, he nodded against me. I leaned back, his eyes looked dead, no emotion showing in them, blank even. I glanced to Kie who could tell the same thing, "I just want to be alone." He muttered, releasing me from his grip, I was hesitant to let him go, I was scared, he looked different. I know he was hurt, but this was worse than I've ever seen him hurt, and he's been through a lot with his mother, she did drugs, that's why my father left her. "I think you need to let him go." Kie whispered, placing a hand on my shoulder, "just call him later." She added, she knew my brother almost as good as I did, and she agreed that he shouldn't be alone, but he wouldn't listen to us. I pulled my phone out, calling my dad to tell him what happened, I told him I didn't want Logan to be alone, he told me that he'd be fine, he's a grown up. I couldn't shake the unnerving feeling in my stomach.

***

"Kenzie, I'm sure he's fine." Topper spoke from beside me, I had convinced him to take me to the hotel Logan was staying at, he wasn't answering his phone, or returning texts, I was scared. "Topper, please." I whispered chewing my lip so hard that I was beginning to taste blood, thankfully I knew what room he was staying in, so as soon as Topper parked I was practically running down the hall. I arrived in front of the room, Topper a good twenty feet behind me, he still thought I was over reacting, I knocked on the door. "Logan, open up!" I called, I heard nothing, not even a mumble. "Logan!" I called again, knocking louder, Topper tried peeking in the window, I watched his face go pale, "Topper? What is it?" I forced myself in front of the window. I froze as Topper took off running to the front desk, shouting to call 911, the hall started spinning around me as all I stared at was my brothers limp body, he wasn't on the ground, that's all I could tell, but I could tell by the color of his skin, it was too late. Topper hauled ass back to the door, a key in hand as an employee spoke to a 911 operator. I stood in front of the window, watching as Topper ran in, lifting Logan up, I finally came to and ran into the room. "Baby, undo the belt, undo it!" Topper was shouting as he lifted Logan's limp body up, trying to relieve the pull around his neck. The belt tied around the robe hook on the bathroom door, I nodded, reaching up and undoing the knot crying. I fell to the ground with Topper as he laid Logan down, he was doing everything you see them do in the movies, anything to keep someone alive but I grabbed Logan's hand and cried into it, he was cool to the touch.

"Topper, he's dead." I whispered, hearing the employee talking into the phone, where is the fucking ambulance. "Topper!" I shouted as he continued to push down on my brother chest, "stop! Stop it he's dead!" I shouted directing my anger towards him, I heard sirens in the distance, I slammed my hands against Topper's chest, screaming and crying over my brothers body. "Kenzie," Topper tried grabbing my hands but I kept pulling them from his grip, "Kenzie, stop!" This time he was the one to shout as he forcefully wrapped his arms around me, holding me still against his chest as I tried to fight against him. I knew there was no use, but I still did, crying more as the paramedics ran in and checked for a pulse. They looked to each other and shook their heads, they could tell by looking at him, but it was a formality, to check despite the coolness to the touch, they grey tint to his skin. "McKenzie, sweetheart, I'm going to call your parents alright." Sheriff Peterkin spoke from above us, I nodded into Topper's chest, I peeled my eyes open and saw them maneuvering Logan's body. "I think I'm gonna be sick." I whispered against Topper's shirt, he released my grip, I flew into the bathroom, heaving into the toilet. Topper followed me, forcing me to my feet, he didn't care that I just threw up, or that I looked a mess, he just wanted to help me be okay. He took the towel off the wall, wetting it and wiping around my mouth, "I shouldn't have let him be by himself. I didn't want to, but I did and I-I-" "Kenzie don't do that to yourself, there's nothing you could've done." He tried to assure me but I refused to believe it, I refused to admit that I couldn't have saved my brothers life. Anything, I could've done anything. "Baby?" Topper gently grabbed my chin, turning my face to his, "lets get you out of here, yeah? Your parents are on their way, they'll handle this." It pained him to say that, but he knew at my age I shouldn't be handling this, oh my god, my dad, my poor dad. I nodded, allowing Topper to scoop me up in his arms bridal style, I was frozen like a statue. Just as he carried me out of the room, my parents came running down the hall, just like I had a few moments ago, my mom cried only at the sight of me, not knowing what she was going to see inside the room. "I'm going to take her home." I heard Topper tell her, although it sounded like it was far away, even though I was right between them.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Topper muttered as he pulled up to my house, I finally focused on something and that something ended up being a someone, Zoe. My body overflowed with anger, "Kenzie!" Topper shouted as I swung the car door open, furiously stomping up to the door where Zoe stood, he ran up grabbing me just before I could reach her, I fought against his hold, "you bitch! It's your fault!" I shouted at her, I hated myself for doing this to her, at the end of the day she's only human, and clearly if he did that he'd been struggling in silence longer than any of us have known. "What is she talking about?" Zoe looked to Topper for answers, I was delirious at this point again. "Logan-he-oh god. He hung himself at the hotel." Topper whispered, the words still stung to me even though I knew what happened. Zoe's face went blank, she began shaking her head, "no, he wouldn't do that, he said he was better." I froze at her words, "what do you mean?" I whispered, she stared at me, afraid to answer. "What do you mean?" I asked louder. "He's been depressed for a few months, but he said it was nothing, he said he was happy again." "You knew he was depressed and you didn't make sure he was getting help!" I shouted, Topper tensed behind me, he was having a hard time seeing me like this, no ones ever seen me this emotional. "Kenzie, let her go, it's not worth it." He spoke into my ear, his thumbs rubbing circles into my skin, I took a shaky breath, nodding. "Okay, fine." I muttered finally being released from his hold, going into the house as he followed, leaving Zoe outside, muttering a quick apology to her. "Do you want me to stay?" Topper asked, wiping a stray tear from my face, "please, don't go."

a/n I was watching an officer and a gentleman when I wrote this and if you've seen that movie you know how the hotel scene was inspired