Weightless (lashton au)

Chapter twenty-three

^^^im so glad this exists

Sorry for leaving u guys hanging for so long haha um I honestly just didn't know what to do because I don't want this to be predictable ...

But u fuckers predicted so many things idk ahsbjajddhw yeah this'll probably suck

Alsooo I have a ton to say after the chapter so yeah

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"I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone,

I long for that feeling to not feel at all.

The higher I get, the lower I'll sink,

I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim."

~ Can You Feel My Heart by Bring Me The Horizon

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Ashton's POV

"Where the fuck is he?" I was practically tearing myself apart at the seams, making Calum groan in frustration as he dragged Michael (who was still drunk and giggly) along the sidewalk in a weak attempt to find Luke.

"He probably just stole my keys but decided to call a taxi or walk, Ashton," I huffed incredulously as Michael almost tripped over a crack in the sidewalk.

"That's way too good to be true! Luke is a fucking idiot and he probably crashed the fucking car and could possibly have-" Calum cut me off calmly,

"Ashton, we can't assume anything right now, no matter how stupid Luke is. We'll check your guy's apartment first, okay?" Calum's confidence was questionable, but I just went with it. Michael had been the quietest he had been all night, letting Calum hold his hand so he didn't stumble.

"How--how are you so sure?" My voice wavered, and Calum just glanced down at me with an unreadable expression.

"I'm not."

I exhaled deeply through my nose, trying to settle my racing heart. The night air sent shivers throughout my body, but I didn't care. I just needed Luke, even though I'll kill him afterwards for making me so worried.

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Luke's POV (oh shit)

"Stupid, stupid, stupid." I mumbled to myself, driving along the road. "He left me." I drove painfully slow, finding it difficult to press down on the gas pedal.

Everything was blurry and shaky, things popping out at me when they were actually far away. My sweaty palms slipped a bit on the wheel as I swerved through the quiet roads, trying desperately to drive straight. Where was the fucking police? Not that I was complaining, but it was obvious that I was under the influence of something.

"I can't even fucking drive." I grumbled after I almost got close to hitting one of the other cars out on the road at this time of night. This was one of the only times where I didn't actually enjoy being drunk.

In angry frustration, I tried to park onto the side of the road, but ended up slamming into a stop sign.

It honestly wouldn't have hurt if the air bag didn't blow up in my face, and I knew Calum would be pissed once he saw the good sized dent in the front of his car.

"Shit." I cursed, taking in my surroundings. Truth be told, I had no idea where I was.

Sighing, I climbed back into the car, checking the time on my phone. I frowned at all of the missed calls and texts from Ashton and Calum, but I wasn't in the mood to reply to them.

So I locked the doors, slumped in the car seat, and fell asleep.

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A sharp knocking on the window woke me up the next morning. I groaned, rubbing at my face and glaring at the person, only to quickly sigh in relief when I saw it was Ashton.

He looked tired, angry, sad and a mixture of over things as he glared at me to open the window. It almost made me forget about my horrible hangover and how he even managed to find me. I shakily sighed, opening the car door instead.

"You're such an idiot-" Ashton rambled once I opened the car door, squeezing me in a tight embrace before I could close the door behind me. I eventually wrapped my arms around his smaller frame, feeling a wave of guilt when I felt his tears wetting my shirt.

"I'm so sorry Ash, I shouldn't have left you." I quietly apologized (even though I knew it wasn't enough), hushing him gently and combing my fingers through his hair to try to get him to stop crying. He sniffled and sputtered,

"I thought you died." Ashton shakily whispered into my chest, making my heart break. I knew this wasn't going to be forgiven easily, even by someone as sweet and understanding as Ashton.

"I was so stupid, and I promise I won't do anything like that ever again." I added, but Ashton shook his head and clung onto me, looking up at me with the most hurt expression I've ever seen him have.

"Don't make promises you can't keep, Luke." He let go of me without another word, and when I tried to lean down and kiss him, he pushed me away.

"I haven't forgiven you yet," Ashton muttered, sulkily climbing into the passengers seat of the car.

I drove us home in Calum's damaged car, hating the silence, hating the rickety sounds the car made on bumpy roads, and hating the way Ashton crossed his arms and looked out the window, looking just as sad as when I first found him trying to kill himself.

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Ashton ignored me the whole day, and even tried to sleep on the couch instead of with me. But, I insisted that he should be the one to have the bed, a move I did to obviously try to ease my guilt.

It wasn't working.

He continued to not even talk to me, unless it was urgent. And when it was, he uttered out short and quiet sentences to get his point across. I hadn't realized how addicting Ashton's lips were until he hadn't kissed me in so long, making my heart ache.

But I deserved it.

Calum hadn't really forgiven me either, almost slapping me across the face once he saw what I did to his car. At work, he kept glaring at me whenever I said something that 'pissed him off' and only used harsh tones and frowns when talking to me, like he was scolding an annoying child.

Well, at least he was actually talking.

And, as for Michael, I didn't even need to know what he felt. He already hated me before, and his hate probably grew two times more now.

This continued even the next day, and Ashton's secrecy made me worried, a small part of me wondering if he ended up relapsing again.

And it was my fault.

But I wanted to speak up, explaining that I was drunk and I didn't mean it. Thinking it over three times, I realized how childish that sounded. It would only make Ashton angry, and it was my fault for getting drunk in the first place.

When would any of them forgive me?

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(If any part of that was unrealistic I don't know what to tell you besides the fact that this is fanFICTION so??)

Well, it wasn't physically damaging like many people predicted, but it's pretty emotionally damaging I guess aha

I SPARED YOU GUYS THIS TIME OK, I didn't want to do anything that bad because its only chapter 23 so y'know

Thoughts?

Sorry it sucked, and maybe some of you anticipated something more but this is what happened oops I just didn't want to do something predictable like kill Luke or have him go into a coma

Also drunk people don't just drive fast, some get in trouble for driving slow believe it or not + not everyone who drives drunk gets in a fatal accident so yeah

Lashton isn't so happy together for now... Sorry

alsO MERRY (early) CHRISTMASS I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S IN A FEW DAYS WHAT ~Hannah