Weightless (lashton au)

Helpppp

Ok so this actually isn't an update :/ sorry I'm really busy with school at the moment and it sucks that I can't write as much :(

But I just randomly had an idea and I'm not sure if it should just be a one shot (since I have a book of one shots I could post it on) or an actual fanfic and idk if I'll actually do it but its a thought and idk I'll basically write out the one shot or prologue below (if it'll be a fanfic) and just tell me if u like it and what I should do haha:

---

Ashton's hands trembled on the trigger, all sweaty and shaky as he stared at the wall in front of him.

He had a gun, a plan, and the door was locked.

But he just...couldn't do it.

Tears burned at the corner of his eyes as he shook his head, putting the gun down from where it was pressed up against his temple.

"I can't I can't I can't do it-" Ashton's voice shook with every breath and he felt as though he was being suffocated. He couldn't breath he couldn't breath he couldn't do anything right.

Ashton had to do it. He wanted to die, he was sure of it.

But he was too weak to shoot himself, too weak to die and too damn weak to live.

If he couldn't do it...then maybe someone would do it for him. Ashton was desperate at this point, so he'd probably hand over a stranger his whole damn wallet if they promised to shoot him.

Ashton slowly got up from the floor, a harsh wave of dizziness washing over him immediately. He knew it was because he hadn't eaten in days- Ashton planned to die way before this, so food wasn't a priority. It was one of the things that kept him alive, so Ashton hated it.

Once he managed to get out of his bedroom and slip on a jacket and his favorite pair of vans, his bottom lip began trembling slightly as he stuffed the gun into his coat pocket.

He was going to do this. He had too.

---

Walking the city streets late at night wasn't a good idea, but Ashton didn't give a fuck about anything at this point.

And his eyes probably looked red and swollen from all those stupid tears, and he probably looked like death, but he didn't care.

He was searching for someone who would actually shoot him, someone he could bribe with money.

Ashton shivered at the chilly night wind, frowning as he continued to trudge along the sidewalk.

Cars sped down the road, and Ashton thought about running right into the street in hopes of getting killed on impact by a car accident.

But, even though he was desperate, Ashton didn't want to get the driver into trouble or scare the shit out of them.

Huffing miserably, he continued to walk along and look normal to the few people out at this time of night.

Ashton convinced people he was fine, he was fine he was fine he was okay he was comfortable in his own skin he was-

His breath caught in his throat as his eyes traveled to a figure leaning against a brick wall, smoking.

A guy wearing tattered skinny jeans and a Nirvana shirt with holes in random places, and as Ashton walked closer he noticed the boy had a lip piercing and tattoos littered his arms.

His blonde hair was slightly sticking upwards and Ashton hasn't realized how close he had gotten to the boy until their eyes awkwardly met and oh fucking hell-

The boy let out a puff of smoke once Ashton had decided to approach him, and it took all of his willpower not to gag at the smell. "What do you want?" The boy raised an eyebrow as he detached himself from the wall he was leaning against, and Ashton could barely breath because this strangers voice was strangely arousing and it was so deep and sensual that it resonated through Ashton's eardrums.

Ashton shakily pulled the gun from his pocket, handing it to the random punk stranger. "Shoot me. I'll pay you, if you want. I just...please." The boy didn't react as strongly as Ashton thought he would; he just merely glanced down at him with a small smirk playing on his lips.

"Sorry babe, I don't feel like going to jail again." Ashton felt like screaming and tearing his hair out as the boy handed the gun back. Why doesn't anything go right for him?

"But you don't understand-" Ashton began to choke out, his whole body trembling as the stranger just scoffed.

"I don't understand?" He threw his cigarette to the ground and crushed it with his toe.

He gestured to the cigarette, glaring down at Ashton. "I am slowly killing myself, I think I really do understand."

Ashton gulped nervously as he slowly nodded, the punk boy practically towering over his smaller frame.

Noticing Ashton's obvious discomfort, the boy's eyes softened slightly.

"Look, I'm really sorry. Really. I am, but I can't shoot you." Ashton noticed the blonde boy's eyes glancing down at his arms, and Ashton's heart fell out of his chest once he realized his jacket sleeve rode up a bit, revealing his hideous scars to a stranger.

He quickly rolled the sleeve back down, biting his lip as his cheeks reddened.

"Fuck, I'm sorry." Ashton mumbled quietly, avoiding the attractive stranger's gaze.

"No, don't be. I'm sorry I can't shoot you." He awkwardly commented, biting his lip. Ashton crossed his arms, looking up at the boy. He frowned, furrowing his eyebrows as he stuttered out,

"B-But why? Why can't you? No one will find out, you won't get in trouble. I promise." The stranger looked conflicted as he leaned his back against the brick wall, pulling out a pack of cigarettes.

"But I just, I can't. I'm really sorry, okay?" Ashton felt stupid and hopeless as he shook his head in exasperation.

"But why? Why not?" Ashton pressed quietly, not wanting to sound irritating. The stranger pulled out a lighter and lit the cigarette in between his teeth, all the while staring down at Ashton with an unreadable expression.

The boy licked his dry lips as he took the cigarette out of his mouth. He looked slightly smug but embarrassed as he mumbled out,

"Because you're beautiful." The boy smiled at Ashton's red cheeks and complete embarrassment, biting his lip teasingly as he shrugged. "I don't shoot beautiful things, sweetheart. That's just not how it works."

---

IDK IM SORRY IF U WERE EXPECTING SOMETHING NOT DEPRESSING THEN IM JUST REALKY SORRYY I CAN'T WRITE HAPPY FANFICS OK??

But if u liked it please comment I need help haha and I'll try to update this really sooonnnn :-) ~Hannah